OkCupid | thirty-somethings

Mr. 007

by vivaciousdeb

Back in October, I met a guy…we can call him Mr. 007. We really hit it off, or so I thought. We had a couple of dates, we even made out! It would’ve probably gone further had I allowed it.

In the midst of our “hanging out” phase, I found him on instagram. Yeah, I know…it’s stalkerish, judge me if you want. I noticed he was hanging out with a particular chick quite often. I tried not to think much of it because I have a lot of guy friends so I can’t be too judgmental. One night he called me around 10:30pm saying I should come over. We all know that’s booty call time. I prefaced my answer by saying I really don’t want you to get offended and explained to him that I wasn’t going to come over because I actually kinda liked him and didn’t want to ruin things by bringing sex into the equation too soon. It was a little more wordy than that but you all get the point. He got super butt hurt and sorta became an asshole. I’m pretty sure he had been drinking. We said our good nights and what not. I never heard from him again.

Until about last week. Yes, last week. THREE months later. He hits me up out of the blue saying it’s been a long time since we’ve spoken blah blah. I respond hours later because “I was busy.” We end up actually talking on the phone later on that night and made it seem that I was the one that didn’t contact him. UM NO. I told him he got all butt hurt when I didn’t come over late at night and never heard from him. His response actually surprised me, he said “I can see why that left a sour taste in your mouth, I apologize.”

Wow. He apologized. Cool! I told him it was fine because we had only hung out a couple of times.

Anyways, I end up checking him out on instagram again. Well, because I needed to see what happened during this three month hiatus. Turns out…him and that broad became a couple. I think they’re broken up though because he had a recent picture with #singlelife. WTF?

Mr.007 disappeared for a couple of days and said he wasn’t ignoring me and he was just busy. We talked a bit the next day (on saturday) but I haven’t heard from him since. It was a few texts back and forth but he completely ignored my last text. And boom, he’s gone…again.

WHY MUST YOU CONTACT ME IF YOU DON’T PLAN ON GOING THROUGH WITH IT?! Just fuck off Mr.007. If you text me again, I’m probably going to say…listen if you’re into me then take the fucking time to show it, if not…delete my damn number.

Sorry for my rant. I’m irritated, hungry and all alone in the office today.

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personality tests

by vivaciousdeb

OkCupid has a incredible amount of personality tests. When I’m bored at work…I’ll usually sit and takes a couple just because I have nothing better to do.

Anyways, I’ve come to the realization that these personality tests are freakishly accurate.

Here’s a glimpse of some of my results:

Yes, I took the Harry Potter test…~~don’t judge me~~…judge all you want.

They’re basically saying:

I love to be in control
I’m headstrong
Opinionated and straight-forward
Open-minded
I have a good personality
Dependable

Yeah, that’s pretty spot on. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Thank you OkCupid for not only helping me out when I’m bored but also providing me with some insight into my personality. Does anybody feel the same way? I’m curious to know whether or not other OkCupid users feel these tests are relatively accurate.

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height requirements

by vivaciousdeb

So, I know height is an issue for many women. Because I have too much time on my hands and I really enjoyed making a graph, I decided to track the height of 100 men. All completely random. There was no rhyme or reason to my clicking. Yes, I know. I need a life.

I always wanted somebody that was OVER 6’0″ and by looking at my chart…that narrows it down to 20 men! That’s crazy. I then changed standard to 5’9.” Thats a major change. I’m proud of myself. That brought up the number to 72. That’s pretty good.

Anyways, here’s my chart.

I’m hoping this will help women put the height requirements into perspective.

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disappearing acts and my two-date curse

by vivaciousdeb

I suppose it’s time for me to give an update on Mr. C&C. I’ve been postponing my update because I’m a little irritated by it. Whatever, it’s time to get it out. We ended up going out on a second “date.” We had coffee and we paid for our own drinks. Is that even considered a date? I guess. It went well though. No awkward silences, conversation flowed, and we laughed at each others jokes. However, I still felt he wasn’t into me.

The date ended in a hug. We texted a bit later on that night and he said he wanted to go out a third time. That was when I started getting a little excited. I thought maybe he actually was into me and I’d finally break my two date curse. We talked for another day or so but the ever-so-dreaded disappearing act happened (other online daters know exactly what I’m talking about). I had stopped messaging him as much as I had been and he stopped messaging me all together.

Why did he mention hanging out a third time if he had no intention of following through? Now I keep thinking about what I did wrong. What could I have done differently? We ran into one of my guy friends and I introduced Mr. C&C as my friend. It was an accident, it totally slipped but when I asked my friend if I should address it he said no. If it was an issue, I guess Mr. C&C wouldn’t have asked me out for a third time. Or maybe it was the fact that I stopped putting in the effort, but if he was legitimately interested, he would put in the effort. Right? I’m not a very flirty person….maybe I could have been more flirtatious.

I’m frustrated and feeling discouraged. I’m having one of those “I’m really tired of being single” moments. It doesn’t happen all the time but that feeling creeps up every so often. Go away icky feeling, you are no longer wanted.

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Mr. Calm and Collected – part 3

by vivaciousdeb

First date went well with Mr. CC, I think. I still like him! I think he’s just as attractive as his photos. I thought him being 5’8″ was going to bother me…but it didn’t! Surprise, surprise. This just goes to show that I should really be open minded.

He’s super nice. He’s polite. He’s funny. He continues to be calm and collected. Random: I realized that he remembered my birthday! I told him about a week ago and he remembered! Crazy. I didn’t remember his. Clearly, I’m an asshole. Jk. Or not?

There was a bit of an awkward moment when an overly obnoxious lovey-dovey couple sat next to our table. They barely ate their food and kept making out. I hope I never become like that. It’s gross. Get a room people! Luckily, it didn’t last long. They left relatively soon after sitting down.

The date ended with a hug. I would’ve totally kissed him though. Not a full on make out session (there were way too many people around) but for sure a peck or something.

Anyways, I still can’t tell if he’s into me. I’m assuming if I can’t tell…then he isn’t? Maybe he doesn’t even know. Maybe he’s still trying to get to know me and figure it out? Or maybe he isn’t and I’m making excuses.

What am I supposed to do now? Do I initiate conversation with him if he doesn’t? Or do I just wait? How long should I wait? I don’t know what the “rules” are anymore. Or even if there are any. Questions are still zooming through my head.

Help?

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Mr. Calm and Collected – Part 2

by vivaciousdeb

The time has come for me to meet Mr. Calm and Collected. It’s been exactly one month and a day since we started talking. I’ve never been so nervous meeting somebody. I really like him.

Butterflies are a little out of control. I kind of feel like an asshole because I may or may not have forced him to meet me. Maybe not forced but I definitely made it very clear I wanted to meet him this week. He knows how much I love disney, so we’re going to downtown disney.

So, it’s happening. So many questions are going through my head…what if he doesn’t like me? What if I don’t like him? What if he doesn’t find me attractive? What if there’s no chemistry? GAH!

This is how I feel right now (this isn’t me btw):

I’m off to get ready. Let’s hope for an awesome date!

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dating myself

by vivaciousdeb

I’m generally not a fan of making New Years resolutions but I will be making a couple this year. One of which is: I promise to date myself.

This topic is something I’ve talked a lot about with a couple of friends of mine.

One question I always get asked by guys is “So what do you like to do for fun?” And I surprisingly never really know how to answer it! What do I like doing for fun? I mean, I know I love watching movies. What else? Ummm…I love going to concerts but I don’t go very often because it gets expensive. I also like going to sporting events but don’t go to those as often as I’d like for the same reason as concerts.

I have an incredible group of friends that I hang out with almost every weekend. What do we do? Generally just hang out doing whatever comes up that weekend. Or I’ll go to some sort of family event or hang out with my parents. One thing I know for sure is: I have a good time no matter what I do.

I think it’s time I start doing things to get a better sense of myself. I’d love to be able to answer such a simple question with ease. Dating myself will also help me get in touch with what I really want in a significant other. I need to get a sense of what exactly makes me happy. It’s time for me to feel comfortable enough doing things on my own before I can expect to share some of those experiences with somebody else.

I think it’s really important to continue dating yourself regardless of your relationship status. So many people lose a sense of who they are because they become so overly involved with their significant other and then BAM all of a sudden you realize how unhappy you are and how you’ve somehow lost a part of who you are.

My younger sister has started a year long challenge: every week she’s going to try something different. I think it’s a brilliant idea! I’m not going to completely copy her but I am going to follow her footsteps and say I really want to step out of my comfort zone more often! I want to do more with my life. Stay tuned for updates on how awesome it is dating myself.

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do I dare?

by vivaciousdeb

I’ve been speaking to this pretty awesome guy for about 3 weeks. I’m going to nickname him Mr. Calm and Collected. He’s very poised, calm, proper, and all around fantastic! He has a good job, he’s good looking, family oriented, and other great stuff!

We’ve exchanged a lot of messages and even though we haven’t met yet, I have a major crush on him. Every time I get a message from him I feel like a little school girl because I get all giddy (ridiculous, I know). We’ve briefly talked about us hanging out in the future but no plans have been made. I did tell him initially that I like taking my time getting to know a person so is he respecting that? I’m sure he is. How long is too long?

I’m beginning to get very anxious! I want to meet him already.

Which brings me to the point of my post…do I ask him out if he doesn’t do it? How long should I wait? I mean, he’s got to be interested if he’s invested so much time in getting to know me, right???

On one side, I’m very traditional in the sense that I feel a guy should be the one to initiate the asking out (I know I may get some uproar about this) but on the flip side I’m a feminist and I believe there shouldn’t be an expectation of one person like that.

I’d love to hear what you all think!

dating life in all its glory OkCupid Real Life single life

18 Comments »

yet another award….

by vivaciousdeb

The award this week is: DOUCHE BAG OF THE WEEK. In my very first post, I wrote about that guy that wanted to jump into a relationship after a couple of dates and how I shouldn’t have been so damn surprised about him being controlling and possessive.

I’m the one that broke up with him because he was a little nuts. So anyways, I got a message from him on OkCupid. Him messaging me isn’t even the worst part…HE DIDN’T EVEN REMEMBER ME!

Our conversation was as follows (my commentary included):

Him: “good evening, hi how are you? I liked your profile very much and know we would get along great. we share allot in common and enough differences to make it fun. let’s take the time and get to know one another.”

Me: (I’m thinking this dude HASSSSSS to be playing some sort of joke on me, obviously I have to respond to make sure). “wow. is this a joke? or do you really not remember me?”

Him: “I just moved back here from NY … did we meet?”

Me: (He must’ve moved there after him and I had our fling as it was just about a year ago) “yeah…about a year ago.”

Him: “Lol really no way. What happened?”

Me: (WOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!) “wow…lol. clearly i made a wonderful impression. just didn’t work out.”

Him: “Why didn’t it work out?”

At this point I don’t want to respond because clearly he’s a dipshit and it’s a waste of my time. After not responding for nearly 30 minutes, he says:

Him: “lol ok maybe you just didn’t find me attractive interesting or stimulating 🙂
In any case I wish you the best since your still on the dating site.”

WHAT THE HELL! Hey jerkoff, you’re controlling…and possessive…and non-gentleman like…and just plain weird. And just a reminder, YOU’RE still on the dating site too!

Ugh. How could he not remember?!?!?

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eager beaver

by vivaciousdeb

I’ve been exchanging messages with this young fellow I’ve nicknamed eager beaver since December 23rd. We’ve been texting for about 4-5 days now. He’s very attentive, he compliments me (which unfortunately doesn’t happen very often in general…so it’s really nice!), he has a good job, lives with roommates, all in all…he’s a pretty cool guy. We were supposed to go out on Sunday but I wasn’t feel well.

We decided we were going to go out today but now he isn’t feeling well. I don’t really know what’s going to happen.

I’m afraid the physical attraction just isn’t going to be there so I really want to meet him already and get it over with. I’m afraid he likes me a lot more than I like him. He’s constantly telling me how excited he is to meet me and how awesome I am. Don’t get me wrong, I like hearing these things…but geez! He needs to calm down.

I’m nervous about meeting him. It needs to happen ASAP.

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