is that too much to ask for??
Like, in person. I want a guy to approach me and hit on me! I want a guy to ask me out on a date. Ask for my number. I mean…something! I honestly can’t remember the last time that happened. It’s been years. Is being hit on still a thing? I have other friends that are approached by men when we’re out. So it’s gotta be a thing. Maybe it’s not a thing for me.
I was hoping that with my weight loss maybe I’d get a little attention. No, I didn’t lose weight to get the attention and I didn’t do it for somebody else. I was just hoping that it would be a positive thing that would come from being skinnier.
But it hasn’t. It’s disheartening. Disappointing. And such a lonely feeling.
thirty-somethings 
If I can be blunt, from somebody who has been following you for a few years, your problem appears to be your lack of confidence. You will attract men when you have low self-esteem but only two types. They are not the types you would want to attract: the sort of man who will use and abuse you because he knows he can get away with it, and men who want to fix you as a pet project (Saviour Complex).
Believe me, I know what a vicious circle it is not to have confidence in yourself but there is some truth in trying to show confidence on the outside even when nervous as hell on the inside. When I started dating in 2012, the first woman I met said I was different from my profile because I was much more confident than I gave myself credit for. I was nervous as hell on every single date but gritted my teeth and presented the air of a confident person with lots of options. That rubbed off and the first time in my dating life, I actually had options despite being their overweight, average height, average income not-very-good-looking guy.
In short, if you can show people that you are confident (even when you’re not) people will react positively towards you. In this article, I recounted my first OKCupid date.
https://inthemindofmen.wordpress.com/2013/03/09/how-dating-built-my-confidence-for-dating/
Best of luck, Deb. Routing for you as ever 🙂
You can always be blunt. I appreciate your input. You are absolutely right lol. Yes, I totally lack confidence. I mean don’t have any at all lol. I thought I was faking it. But maybe not enough???
No, don’t “fake it until you make it”, that doesn’t work. Just present the air of confidence. You will eventually start to feel it 🙂