thirty-somethings

life in all its glory

frustration

It’s been approximately one month since I’ve signed up with Eharmony and nothing has come of it. Yeah, a few messages here and there but…NOTHING. I’m even attempting to initiate conversation. That hasn’t been successful either. I’m really trying to stay positive but I’m having more and more difficulty.

There was a millisecond where I got really excited about a guy on OkCupid. Seemed like our conversation was going really well. We event tentatively set a date for next week. THEN….he wanted to exchange instagram accounts. I’ve written a post about social media before. I’m not a fan of sharing these things early on when talking to somebody. My social media pages, especially IG show my personality and what my life is all about. Anyways, what felt like immediately the conversation slowed and I haven’t really heard from him all day. What does that mean? Does that mean he didn’t like what he saw?  I’m so tired of all this. Could he eventually message me and say “oh crap. i’ve had such a long day. sorry i didn’t reach out.” yeah. Maybe. but let’s be real…it’s probably not going to happen.

 

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new beginnings

So many things have been happening. Nothing in the relationship department but everything else could not be better!

I’m transferring to a new location for work (in Los Angeles). I’m finally going to have a “regular job.” At my current job, I work nights and weekends. It makes it pretty difficult to have a social life. I’m going to have a glorious schedule: Monday-Friday 8am-5pm. I can’t wait! I start on Monday. Not only am I starting a new job, but I finally moved out of my parents and into a new place!! I’m living 2.7 miles away. In LA, that’s amazing! No long commute, another time saver.

My co-worker (Ms. Pearly Whites) moved into together. It’s the best decision we’ve made. She’s the best roommate. Also, if you’re wondering…Ms. Pearly Whites is now in a relationship! Remember that guy she hit it off with, well….clearly it went in the right direction. She’s in a relationship with him now. I’m so happy for her!

Lastly, as a last ditch effort, I signed up for Eharmony. This is pretty much the last website left for me to try. I signed up for a six month plan. I’m going to give it my all, and if nothing comes of it, I’m going to quit the online dating scene. I’ve been doing it for too long and I just don’t want to continue it anymore. I hadn’t tried it in the past because I felt it was too expensive but they had a deal going on. I signed up and i’s been an interesting experience so far. For those of you that have not tried it, let me give you the run down. You can’t message somebody a normal message..as in “Hey, how’s it going?” There’s a process. First, you send each other “quick questions” and you go through two rounds of that. Secondly, you have “makes and breaks,” you have to provide ten each. After you’re done with that, it’ll show you both of your answers to see where you have similar answers. Next, you have “dig deeper” questions. You ask three questions that require longer/thought out answers. – this is how far I’ve gotten in the process. I believe the next part is a regular message where it’s an open discussion.

I’m still dabbling in OkCupid. I’m hoping with those two combined as well as moving to a new area, some magic will happen!

I’m looking forward to this new adventure I’m embarking on. New job, new apartment, new online dating sites. Here’s to new beginnings!

 

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And so it goes on….

Ms. Big booty pretty much gave up immediately. Ms. Pearly whites has basically struck gold. She met an awesome guy, has gone on two dates and has another one in the works. 

And me? Nothing, of course. I’ve sparked up conversation with a few guys but they just fizzle out. 

At what point do I give up on the whole online thing? At what point do I just let it go? 

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the online data saga continues

So, I have these two awesome coworkers and we’re all single, independent, successful, intelligent women. We all range in age. I’m 30, Ms. Big Booty is 38 and Ms. Pearly Whites is 25.

I’m the only one that has done the whole online dating thing. It’s been probably about a year or so that I disabled my OkCupid account. We all decided that we’re gonna do it together. I may try a couple new sites, I haven’t fully decided which one I’m going to use.

Anyways, I’m pretty excited that we’re going to do this together and I can’t wait to tell all of you about our experiences.

Hope this new year is off to a wonderful start for all of you!

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Mr. Memory Lane

So, I’d like to talk about Mr. Memory Lane. A little while ago, I got a message from a guy I went to high school with on facebook. I had a crush on him back in the day and a few years ago attempted to reconnect with him by inviting him to a party I had at my house but nothing happened. Anyways, Mr. Memory Lane messaged me and we made small talk for a little while then asked if I wanted to grab dinner or drinks some time. At first, I thought it was a friendly invite trying to reconnect from somebody from high school. Remember my post about being a bad flirt? I’m pretty oblivious sometimes.

So, we talked for a couple weeks, texting, phone calls and it was glorious! He made me laugh and I finally was looking forward to going on a date with somebody. He’s cute, funny, hard working amongst other things. But yes, I was really looking forward to the idea of possibly dating somebody again.

We had a difficult time setting a day for us to meet because our schedules were a little off. Finally, I invited him to come meet with a couple girl friends of mine (they left pretty much as soon as he got there) and we just hung out for a little while. It was nice. We had a nice conversation and I really enjoyed myself. I couldn’t quite put my finger on how possibly felt.

Then about a day or so later, he stopped texting me. Just like that. Done.

Was he not attracted to me? Did he think I was weird? Did he think I was ugly? Or fat?? I mean, what the hell is it? It’s hard not to take stuff like this personally.

I think I may be at a point where I’m thinking something is wrong with me.

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life goes on….

Hello all!

It’s been quite some time since I’ve posted something. I’d really like to start blogging again. It was incredibly therapeutic for me. Here’s a little bit of an update: I turned 30 (I should probably change the name of my blog), I graduated with my Master in Social Work, and the most unfortunate update of all is that I’m still single.

Graduate school did a really good job in masking how much it sucks being single. I was so busy, I barely had time to breathe. Now that it’s all done,now I only have work. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life. I love my job, I love my family and friends, I’m financially stable for the first time in my life, I’m moving out of my parents within the next couple of months. I mean, overall things are great! BUT…it would be so nice to share it all with somebody else.

Anyways, just thought I’d start somewhere. Here’s an update. Let’s hope it doesn’t take ma few months to post again!

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that awkward moment when….

….you make the very sad realization that you’re practically the only single friend and family member.

It’s sad. It’s depressing. It’s so incredibly frustrating.

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level of excitement: through the roof!

My last two posts have been a little bit of a downer, huh? Well, get ready for some good news!!

I’ve been talking to a new guy. Nickname? Umm…how about. Mr. Sociable? We exchanged a few messages first, we’ve been texting for a few days now and we’ve had long/awesome late night conversations. He’s been very consistent (finally!!). He’s so nice. He’s ambitious and hard-working. He’s so sweet and compliments me all the time. He’s called me beautiful more times than Mr. I did in our entire relationship. He’s very good for my ego LOL.

Yesterday, he asked me out for a date. We’re going out this coming Saturday. We’re going out on a real date. I can’t even remember the last time this happened. We’re not just going to “hang out.” I mean, this is big!!

Anyways, this is the first time I’ve legitimately been excited about somebody since Mr. I.

I’m super stoked and I can’t waitttt to meet him!

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inconsistency

I don’t know if this is just a guy thing or what…but…what is it with them being inconsistent?!? Do they think it’s okay to just disappear for a week or maybe two? There’s this guy I was texting…I haven’t heard from him in 8 days (I only know this from the time stamps on our texts). After a couple texts he has the NERVE to ask me for a picture. WHAT.THE.FUCK! I say “I haven’t heard from you in a week and then you ask for my picture?!” His response? “lol yes” WOW!! What in his mind makes that an okay thing to do?

There’s this other guy that I’ve been messaging back and forth on OkC and it’s been a little over a month. Of occasional messages that really have no meaning behind them. Just small talk “oh hows your day?” “it’s going well, just at work right now…” blah-di-blah.

I mean, why don’t these guys put some real effort in getting to know me?! I’m trying not to take it personally. I’m trying not to think “oh it must be me they don’t want to get to know” or “i’m not worthy enough for guys to get to know” but it’s getting really hard.

I know I have to be patient. The right guy will make the effort but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t suck in the meantime.

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flirting…or lack there of…

how-i-think-i-look-when-im-flirting-how-i-actually-look

I can’t remember if I have written a post about my lack of flirting skills. I was too lazy to check, so here I am.

I suck at flirting. It’s one of those things I didn’t pick up on. Don’t get me wrong…I’m a very social person, I get along really well with others, and I can carry on a normal conversation with others. So what is it about flirting that makes me act like a socially awkward person?!? I have no idea. For example, this messaged me on OkC just the other day saying I have an adorable smile. My response back to him?? “You have some pretty cute dogs!!” I tried to save it by later saying something about him being good looking. He handled it well and said among the lines of they get it from him.

Bad Flirting

Is there a way I can learn how to flirt? I’m nearing thirty…does that mean I’m a lost cause?

There’s another funny story: (I’ve told this to a few of my friends, so if y’all are reading this…sorry!)

I go to staples (which is my favorite store…I have a freakish obsession with office supplies) and as I leave the store there’s a cute guy just a few feet in front of me leaving the store as well. Both of our cars are parked on the right side of the lot but in order for it not to be awkward, I move over to the left side so I’m not directly behind him. I soon realized that was a bad idea because I had to get to my car…I slowly moved back over to the right side. Only to my disbelief the cute guy is parked NEXT TO ME! EEEK! So, as I kinda get behind him again…he says in a jokingly/flirty way…”oh are you following me?!” And my response?? First, I make an weirdddd noise…followed by…”uhhhhh…sorrryyyyy….” all while hurrying to get to my car.

I sat in the car for a minute thinking: OUT OF ALL THE THINGS I COULD’VE SAID?! I SAID SORRY!?!??!? Ugh. I really gotta step up my flirting game.

Anyways, that’s that. One day some guy will learn to appreciate my social awkwardness.

there are so many good memes on bad flirting!

there are so many good memes on bad flirting!

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