thirty-somethings

life in all its glory

Modern Dating: A Field Guide

So, as you all may (or may not) know I’ve been reading this book called “Modern Dating: A Field Guide.” A company contacted me because they wanted to read the book and write a review on it. I was super stoked! What an honor!

I’ve never written a book review so this is a learning experience for me. I promise I will try my best! Here it goes, y’all:

 Modern Dating: A Field Guide (Harlequin Nonfiction, May 2013) From Chiara Atick, blogger and staff writer on HowAboutWe.com. [The back of the book gives a great explanation of the book, so I’m just going to copy it on here] “Modern Dating offers advice on modern challenges, like how to send relatively unembarrassing sext, how to create a fail proof first date idea, and how to make sure you’re getting into a relationship for the right reasons. Instead of telling you How to Win a Husband n Just 3 Easy Steps!, it will gently guide you through all the triumphs and pitfalls of what dating is actually like, from one-night stands, to confusing texts and emails, to your first online date.” Here in the U.S. the book runs for $19.95 and comes with a free three month trial for HowAboutWe.com (a $54 value). Does this price seem like it’s a little high? If it does, don’t worry…It’s totally worth the price!

 The book is incredibly relatable and talks about topics that I’ve seen all over the blogging world (yes, including my very own blog). What I love the most about this book is that it goes from a woman embracing her single life to the dating process and finally the actually relationship.  So even though the book is geared toward the single woman; I think every woman can relate to it regardless of her relationship status.

I’d like to talk about my favorite points of the book:

  • It teaches us that it is perfectly okay to be single! I really want to say that this is my favorite thing about this book. It teaches us that once we truly accept being single and actually enjoy being single, then finding a guy becomes much easier.
  • When it comes to online dating, the online profile is THE most important aspect of being successful. This book really goes through the do’s and don’t of dating profiles.
  • Being successful with online dating is also messaging many guys all at once! We can’t get hung up on one guy and put everything else on hold.
  • Paying for dates is such an awkward moment and I really love how the book breaks it down
  • After the date, we can all get a little awkward and don’t really know how to deal with certain situations (i.e. the guy texting you but you aren’t interested).
  • 75 out-of-the-box date ideas!
  • Statistics and facts make me happy so I absolutely loved all of that in the book.
  • I really liked the way reading the book felt. Meaning, it felt like I was chatting with one of my girl friends.

What I didn’t like:

  • It’s basically a non-stop advertisement for HowAboutWe.com

Yes, that’s all I didn’t like!

The rest of the back cover says “Frank, funny, and totally relatable, this is a book that really gets at how women are dating today – the ideal travel companion for your dating life. The only rule is that there are no rules, but this book will be there for guidance, or just for laughs, every step of the way.” I couldn’t agree more!

So what does all this mean? It means, I really enjoyed reading this book and I believe any single woman (especially women going through online dating) should read this book. I’m pretty sure I’ve said in previous posts that I wish there was a book people could read that could help them with the online dating process, this book is it! 

6 Comments »

happiness

I’ve talked about how being happy is an actual skill. It isn’t easy and it is definitely a process. I came across an awesome article titled “22 things happy people do differently” and I found that I actually live by mostly everything that was written on there. It was a pretty awesome feeling. Here’s what it says: 

1. Don’t hold grudges.

Happy people understand that it’s better to forgive and forget than to let their negative feelings crowd out their positive feelings. Holding a grudge has a lot of detrimental effects on your wellbeing, including increased depression, anxiety, and stress. Why let anyone who has wronged you have power over you? If you let go of all your grudges, you’ll gain a clear conscience and enough energy to enjoy the good things in life.

2. Treat everyone with kindness.

Did you know that it has been scientifically proven that being kind makes you happier? Every time you perform a selfless act, your brain produces serotonin, a hormone that eases tension and lifts your spirits. Not only that, but treating people with love, dignity, and respect also allows you to build stronger relationships.

3. See problems as challenges.

The word “problem” is never part of a happy person’s vocabulary. A problem is viewed as a drawback, a struggle, or an unstable situation while a challenge is viewed as something positive like an opportunity, a task, or a dare. Whenever you face an obstacle, try looking at it as a challenge.

4. Express gratitude for what they already have.

There’s a popular saying that goes something like this: “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.” You will have a deeper sense of contentment if you count your blessings instead of yearning for what you don’t have.

5. Dream big.

People who get into the habit of dreaming big are more likely to accomplish their goals than those who don’t. If you dare to dream big, your mind will put itself in a focused and positive state.

6. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Happy people ask themselves, “Will this problem matter a year from now?” They understand that life’s too short to get worked up over trivial situations. Letting things roll off your back will definitely put you at ease to enjoy the more important things in life.

7. Speak well of others.

Being nice feels better than being mean. As fun as gossiping is, it usually leaves you feeling guilty and resentful. Saying nice things about other people encourages you to think positive, non-judgmental thoughts.

8. Never make excuses.

Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Happy people don’t make excuses or blame others for their own failures in life. Instead, they own up to their mistakes and, by doing so, they proactively try to change for the better.

9. Get absorbed into the present.

Happy people don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They savor the present. They let themselves get immersed in whatever they’re doing at the moment. Stop and smell the roses.

10. Wake up at the same time every morning.

Have you noticed that a lot of successful people tend to be early risers? Waking up at the same time every morning stabilizes your circadian rhythm, increases productivity, and puts you in a calm and centered state.

11. Avoid social comparison.

Everyone works at his own pace, so why compare yourself to others? If you think you’re better than someone else, you gain an unhealthy sense of superiority. If you think someone else is better than you, you end up feeling bad about yourself. You’ll be happier if you focus on your own progress and praise others on theirs.

12. Choose friends wisely.

Misery loves company. That’s why it’s important to surround yourself with optimistic people who will encourage you to achieve your goals. The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself.

13. Never seek approval from others.

Happy people don’t care what others think of them. They follow their own hearts without letting naysayers discourage them. They understand that it’s impossible to please everyone. Listen to what people have to say, but never seek anyone’s approval but your own.

14. Take the time to listen.

Talk less; listen more. Listening keeps your mind open to others’ wisdoms and outlooks on the world. The more intensely you listen, the quieter your mind gets, and the more content you feel.

15. Nurture social relationships.

A lonely person is a miserable person. Happy people understand how important it is to have strong, healthy relationships. Always take the time to see and talk to your family, friends, or significant other.

16. Meditate.

Meditating silences your mind and helps you find inner peace. You don’t have to be a zen master to pull it off. Happy people know how to silence their minds anywhere and anytime they need to calm their nerves.

17. Eat well.

Junk food makes you sluggish, and it’s difficult to be happy when you’re in that kind of state. Everything you eat directly affects your body’s ability to produce hormones, which will dictate your moods, energy, and mental focus. Be sure to eat foods that will keep your mind and body in good shape.

18. Exercise.

Studies have shown that exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft does. Exercising also boosts your self-esteem and gives you a higher sense of self-accomplishment.

19. Live minimally.

Happy people rarely keep clutter around the house because they know that extra belongings weigh them down and make them feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Some studies have concluded that Europeans are a lot happier than Americans are, which is interesting because they live in smaller homes, drive simpler cars, and own fewer items.

20. Tell the truth.

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21. Establish personal control.

Happy people have the ability to choose their own destinies. They don’t let others tell them how they should live their lives. Being in complete control of one’s own life brings positive feelings and a great sense of self-worth.

22. Accept what cannot be changed.

Once you accept the fact that life is not fair, you’ll be more at peace with yourself. Instead of obsessing over how unfair life is, just focus on what you can control and change it for the better.

6 Comments »

yes, i’m alive.

It’s been quite some time since my last post. Just wanted to let everybody know I am still alive! Life has been all sorts of crazy lately. On top of working my regular job, school has made me incredibly busy. Only three more weeks! (Not like I’m counting down or anything…ha) I’m also getting things in order for grad school (EEK!) for the fall semester. I’m so nervous and scared but so excited. 

Adjusting to being in a relationship has been quite an experience for both Mr. Incredible and I. It’s been a really long time since either of us has been in a relationship. It’s been a wonderful experience though. 

I also wanted to update my blog because I’m reading a very interesting book at the moment for a book review. It’s called Modern Dating: A Field Guide. So far, it’s very interesting and basically anybody who’s dating now-a-days should take a gander at it. I will be posting a formal book review by the end of next week. 

Hope all is well with everybody! 

Let’s hope I don’t go this long without a post again. 

Much Love ❤ 

4 Comments »

when “they” are right…

So I know we’ve all heard those sayings about what “they” think. 

  • “they” say time heals all
  • “they” say once you stop ‘looking’ he/she will coe around
  • “they” say blah blah blah 

You get the point. 

I always hated when people told me that when I stop looking, “he” would come around. I think I may have even written about it before. What does that even mean? It’s not like I was standing on a street corner with a sign over my head that read “looking for Mr. Right!! MARRY ME!” 

I’ve also always hated being single which is quite unfortunate because I’ve always been single! ha. I’ve never really been in a serious relationship. Just dated around.

Most of you have been a part of my journey where I basically came to accept being single. I actually started to enjoy it. I liked being single for once. 

And…boom. Mr. Incredible came around. 

“They” where right. Those bastards. Whoever they are. 

Sometimes I’m not sure if I should flip them off or thank them. 

What are some moments where “they” have been right for you? I’m curious to hear other people’s stories. 

5 Comments »

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