thirty-somethings

life in all its glory

My goal

I saw somebody post this on Facebook and I loved it! It’s what I’ll always strive to be like.

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Relationship titles

Having that titles talk is the most awkward talk ever. I made a pretty conscious decision to not have “that” talk with Mr. Incredible because I knew we weren’t dating anybody else and that was all I needed to know.

One day when we’re hanging out…he introduces me as “his lady.” I liked it. I feel like the title of girlfriend or boyfriend sounds weird lol. Is that just me??

Anyways a few days later, he makes a pit stop at his old job but I waited in the car. Apparently he tells his old co-workers (when they asked about me) that I was his lady and one dude asked what that meant LOL. At the end of the conversation Mr. Incredible explains that I’m his girlfriend.

Whoa. Girlfriend? Yeah, that just happened y’all.

After he told me about that conversation…we talked about the awkwardness of relationship titles. I have such a pet peeve when people have the constant need to refer to their significant other as their boyfriend or girlfriend. THEY HAVE A NAME!

Also, I feel that as I get older…having a “boyfriend” just sounds weird. I remember reading an article once…I really wish I saved it! About alternative names for your boyfriend.

Man friend? My dude? I’ve actually referred to him as both.

I guess it depends on who I’m talking to about him.

I’m still trying to figure out what I’m going to do with my blog. I’m no longer an online dater…and I don’t believe in putting my relationship on blast.

What will I do?!?? Suggestions? Write about other aspects of my life? I mean, I have a relatively interesting life! Haha.

Speaking of, I got accepted into grad school at USC. Crazy, huh?

Shit just got real, folks.

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Mr. CC – The saga continues

On my birthday, I got a late night text wishing me a happy birthday from a random number. I replied by saying thank you and asked who it was. 

It was Mr. Calm and Collected!! Can you all believe it?! 

We sent a grand total of two texts to each other. A day or so later I said: 

Okay, random question and I’m only asking you because it’s totally irrelevant now lol. I’m just curious. Were you even into me? 


I had already told him that I was seeing somebody which was why it was completely irrelevant. I reallyyyy wanted to know though because I could never really tell. His response: 

Mentally yes, physically 50/50. I liked your background, love for soccer, your smile and how it easy it was to talk with you. But I didn’t feel it from your end, which is why I never tried to pursue you.

Wait…WHAT?! He couldn’t feel it from my end? I was the one that reached out to him a couple of times about us going out a third time. 

He’s the one that didn’t show anything towards me. That fucker. LOL 

And how is somebody attracted to somebody else 50/50? Like, oh…i’m kinda sorta attracted to you. 

Anyways, it doesn’t matter anymore. He’s out of my life. 

 

In other news, Mr. Incredible and I deleted our online dating profiles. Pretty big deal, eh?!? 

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mr. incredible

Well, I think I’ve made you all wait long enough. It’s time I write about my current guy. I originally met him nearly two years ago. The first time we met, we went out a couple of times then he disappeared. Then a few months later be hit me back up and we started seeing each other again for a couple of months…soon after, he disappeared. The first time he disappeared because he got sick and we had just started seeing each other so he didn’t want to burden me with anything. The second time…it’s because he was so obsessed with work he couldn’t really handle a relationship. After he lost his job a few months ago, he had a bit of a life changing experience. He reevaluated his priorities and has come to the realization that everything doesn’t need to revolve around work.

After that second time (which was around December of 2011) I obviously wasn’t going to make any effort. Last week, I get a message from him on okc. I responded of course. It’s been wonderful ever since.

We hung out on my birthday last Friday and he told me about all his feelings for me. It was quite intense but I loved every minute of it. He made it very clear that he wants to be with me and won’t be disappearing on me. He’s here to stay this time around.

He’s so attentive, he’s always telling me how beautiful I am. When we’re together he makes it a point to always touch me whether its my leg when we’re sitting or holding my hand or putting his hand on my back. He also makes it known that he wants to see me.

I’m a pretty high strung person. I get anxiety over stupid shit and my OCD kicks in pretty often but when I’m with him…he calms me and it’s such an incredible feeling.

I had really strong feelings for him when we were seeing each other last time and as soon as I saw him again those feelings rushed back as if he never left.

Yes, he doesn’t have a great track record but I don’t care. I’m not going to live in fear that something bad may happen. He apologized for all that happened and said he wasn’t going to leave again. As of right now, I believe it. I’m going to go along with it and see where this path leads me. I’m looking forward to every minute of it.

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wtf moment of the week and birthday festivities

I’d like to start this post with a picture: 

Image

Let that sink in for a moment. 

Yes, that picture was actually sent to me by a guy on OkC. Within a few messages he ends up telling me he has a “very strong feminine side” and that he’s looking for somebody to be okay with that. 

What am I supposed to say? I mean, what do I do with that information? 

Turns out, this dude is a [confused] transgender lesbian.

I’d like to say that I’m all about supporting the LGBTQ community so I have absolutely nothing against the fact that he’s a transgender lesbian. 

It’s the fact that I felt lied to. Granted, it was only a few messages but I still felt it should be something that’s said in the first message. He apologized for not having it on his profile because he has a couple of coworkers on OkC and he doesn’t want to out himself. 

I say he’s confused because at first he was saying how he feels like he’s in the wrong body (which obviously makes him transgender) but then he was saying how he wants to have a “normal heterosexual relationship” just one where he’s a “shemale.” Wait, WHAT?!   

At that point I felt like I needed a clarification…because if he feels like he’s in the wrong body…and he wants a heterosexual relationship…then that would mean he wants to be with a man? Right? 

I mean, I’m no pro on the subject so I could be totally wrong. He ends up replying: 

Lol. Nope to men. I meant more about the husband / boyfriend dominate role. If I ever had the sex reassessment surgery. I still prefer women.

Pause. 

“I might try heterosexual sex with a guy just once. But would be just sex. And I could still get the same thing with a gf/wife with a strap on.”

HOW ABOUT THEM APPLES?! 

I didn’t even know how to respond. I wished him luck on his search and boom…conversation was over. 

I know this is going to sound a little harsh but should he even be on OkC when he can’t put all of this information out there? He would save a lot of time (mine and his) by just putting the truth out there. Have any of my readers experience something similar to this? I’d love to hear stories!

In other news, it’s my birthday today! The big 2-8! haha. No really, it’s been a wonderful birthday so far and I’m so lucky to be surrounded by such an incredible family and my friends. 

There’s also another guy in the picture. I’m not ready to talk about him yet though. I need to think of a clever name for him. 

22 Comments »

did i say you can call me Debbie?

First of all, I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve updated. I’ve been super duper busy. I’ll have a much better post later on this week.

So, we all know my name is Debora. If you didn’t know that by now….Hi, my name is Debora, it’s a pleasure to meet you.

Now, I know with certain names there are standard nicknames. Obviously…the standard nicknames for my name are Debbie and Deb.

Let’s get something straight: I HATE being called Debbie. I don’t mind calling other people Debbie or hearing other people call somebody Debbie. I just can’t stand it when somebody calls me Debbie. Deb is usually my nickname of choice or Dabbs. 

There’s probably a total of 3 people who are “allowed” to call me Debbie and they’re people I grew up with in my neighborhood. 

There are a couple of reasons why I don’t like it. One of which is way too personal to write about on here and the other is because it makes me feel like a 50-year-old cat lady. (To the other Debbie’s: please don’t be offended by that. It’s only when it’s directed towards me). 

There’s this Italian dude (as in…he lives in Italy) that keeps hitting me up on OkC. He’s weird and I’ve been trying to shake him off. This weekend…he sends me a message calling me Debbie. 

This made me think, is it even appropriate to call somebody as a nickname when you don’t even know them? When is it appropriate? 

 

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