thirty-somethings

life in all its glory

Pet names

What is it with guys that use pet names right off the bat? Sweetie, babe, hun, love, baby etc. Mr. Jokester was like that. Also, another guy on OkCupid was like that too. I mean, literally every sentence he was saying something. Is that weird? Or am I weird for being annoyed?? We haven’t even met!!

That guy (let’s call him Mr. Insults). We had only exchanged a few messages and he kept pushing us meeting. Wanted to go to the movies (which let’s talk about the fact that going to the movies on the first time meeting, is already kinda weird) or then wanted to get coffee. Just made me feel uncomfortable why he kept pushing it. Mind you, he had complimented me a few times throughout the messages. But I just didn’t feel good about it. I told him “I don’t like this pressure to meet up. Sorry, I’m not interested.”

His response? : “You have a wig”

UH. WHAT? hahahaha….is that code for something? am I supposed to be offended?

What an interesting character. Wonders of online dating, y’all!

Advertisements
1 Comment »

The X-Factor

Y’all remember Mr. I? If not, here’s a very depressing post about our break up: click here. Well, we never completely lost touch. Every now and again, he would message me on facebook and we’d engage in small talk. Never anything too crazy. There might have been one time (a couple years ago) where we talked about giving it another shot, but we didn’t do anything with it.

Fast forward to about a month ago, we were both back on OkCupid. He visited my profile – I messaged him joking around about him visiting me. A week later, I visited his profile. He messaged me. Then our conversation became a bit more serious. He told me he missed me. He asked if I’d consider giving us another chance. I said, I’d be willing to if we both made changes because we both contributed to the break up. He agreed and asked me out to dinner. At dinner, he made so many promises. About how I was his other half, and how he missed me so much. That he now knows that he should’ve put in more effort and he doesn’t want to mess it up this time. That he was “all in.” I ate it all up. I believed it all. I was cautiously optimistic but was all in too. About a week later, he asked me to be his girlfriend again. I loved it. He really was putting in more effort. I believed we were moving in the right direction.

But that all went to shit a couple weeks in. The effort slowly dissipated. I would go the entire day without hearing from him. Finally after a few days of barely hearing from him, I finally called him out. Then he became frustrated with me saying “I told you in the beginning that I was busy.” Nobody is that busy that they can’t send a quick message. Barely heard from him after that. I tried my best telling him that I support him and all that he does. He basically told me he wasn’t going to change for “anything or anybody.” Well, his true colors came to light. At least I saw it a month into the relationship and not a couple years in.

So that’s that. He came and went. I feel used. My ego is bruised. I know it’s for the best. Ex’s are ex’s for a reason, right? I should’ve known better.

The silver lining(s): I had been so desperate to date that I’d say I’d take anybody but I now see that I deserve to be treated with respect. Since it had been so long since I last dated, I felt really awkward about the whole thing. Now I’m ready. I’m ready to really try. I’m back on OkCupid and putting in effort. May the odds be ever in my favor.

To new beginnings. Cheers!

1 Comment »

damaged goods

I’m damaged. I can’t hang with online dating anymore. I’m fragile. I wish I wasn’t but it’s true.

I felt I really hit it off with a guy, we were sending these long and thoughtful messages to each other. He seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. I was excited about meeting him. We went on a coffee date and I haven’t heard from him since. It sucks. I felt that it was a pretty good date but not enough for him to want to continue talking to me?

I just don’t think I can do it anymore. I get really excited about meeting somebody and then they aren’t interested in me. What am I doing wrong? Readers, I know you’re going to tell me I’m not doing anything wrong. Blah blah. Clearly something is wrong and the most common denominator is me. All this does is make me sad.

I disabled my OkCupid account. Whomp.

9 Comments »

it’s officially official

Last week when I signed up for OkC, I deactivated my profile after a couple hours. A few days after, I processed some stuff with my therapist, I decided that moving forward with online dating would be a good thing.

I gave Bumble and Coffee meets Bagel a shot. I even synced them with my facebook. I gave in. I hated both of them. Although, I will say…Bumble has a whole lot of attractive men. Too attractive LOL. I’m not confident enough for Bumble. Coffee meets Bagel has this whole thing where have you earn “beans” and certain things cost “beans.” It’s all a sham to get you to pay them even though they say they’re a “free” site. Dumb.

Then, I reactivated OkC. Again. I’m officially back on and using it regularly since starting up again a couple days ago. Have a consistent convo with a couple different guys. I guess we’ll see how it goes. I’ll keep you updated!

3 Comments »

online dating? again?

It has been about a week or so that I started considering going back to online dating. I’m in a much better place emotionally and let’s face it…I’m considered more attractive now with the weight loss (it’s terrible, I know). Yes, people say that it’s not just the outside that counts…but we live in a society where the outside does in fact matter and if you aren’t remotely attractive then you don’t catch somebody’s interest.

So, today. I took the plunge. I’ve heard of bumble, I had never tried it. I downloaded it, but I don’t like that it requires me to link my facebook to my account. I decided against it. I tried coffee meets bagel and it’s the same thing! WTF! Why do they do that?? I mean, I have facebook but I don’t know how I feel about syncing my profiles together. Then, I went back to OkCupid. I always enjoyed being on OkC. My profile was never deleted, just disabled. I signed back in, changed a few photos, made minor adjustments to my profile – and I was ready to go. Then, BAM! OkC is basically like the new tinder. Where you swipe left or right to decide whether or not you like them. I hated tinder and now OkC is just as awful.

I absolutely will not try Eharmony or Match again. Not too sure what else to do at this point. Has anybody tried bumble or coffee meets bagel? I’m not a fan of the idea of syncing it to my facebook.

7 Comments »

awkward questions…

I went to a social gathering this past weekend with a lot of high school friends I hadn’t seen in a while. I generally have no problem with small talk. I just can’t stand questions about me being single. There’s always that one questions “So are you seeing anybody?” And when I say no, obviously it opens up all sorts of follow up questions/comments:

  • Oh, it’s okay! You’ll find somebody
  • Being single is better anyways, you can do whatever you want
  • So you aren’t looking for anything right now?
  • So there isn’t anybody you’re interested in??

And much, much more.

Yes, of course I’m looking. I guess nobody is interested in me. People need to stop. Not one thing is “better” than the other.

2 Comments »

new beginnings

So many things have been happening. Nothing in the relationship department but everything else could not be better!

I’m transferring to a new location for work (in Los Angeles). I’m finally going to have a “regular job.” At my current job, I work nights and weekends. It makes it pretty difficult to have a social life. I’m going to have a glorious schedule: Monday-Friday 8am-5pm. I can’t wait! I start on Monday. Not only am I starting a new job, but I finally moved out of my parents and into a new place!! I’m living 2.7 miles away. In LA, that’s amazing! No long commute, another time saver.

My co-worker (Ms. Pearly Whites) moved into together. It’s the best decision we’ve made. She’s the best roommate. Also, if you’re wondering…Ms. Pearly Whites is now in a relationship! Remember that guy she hit it off with, well….clearly it went in the right direction. She’s in a relationship with him now. I’m so happy for her!

Lastly, as a last ditch effort, I signed up for Eharmony. This is pretty much the last website left for me to try. I signed up for a six month plan. I’m going to give it my all, and if nothing comes of it, I’m going to quit the online dating scene. I’ve been doing it for too long and I just don’t want to continue it anymore. I hadn’t tried it in the past because I felt it was too expensive but they had a deal going on. I signed up and i’s been an interesting experience so far. For those of you that have not tried it, let me give you the run down. You can’t message somebody a normal message..as in “Hey, how’s it going?” There’s a process. First, you send each other “quick questions” and you go through two rounds of that. Secondly, you have “makes and breaks,” you have to provide ten each. After you’re done with that, it’ll show you both of your answers to see where you have similar answers. Next, you have “dig deeper” questions. You ask three questions that require longer/thought out answers. – this is how far I’ve gotten in the process. I believe the next part is a regular message where it’s an open discussion.

I’m still dabbling in OkCupid. I’m hoping with those two combined as well as moving to a new area, some magic will happen!

I’m looking forward to this new adventure I’m embarking on. New job, new apartment, new online dating sites. Here’s to new beginnings!

 

1 Comment »

Mr. Memory Lane

So, I’d like to talk about Mr. Memory Lane. A little while ago, I got a message from a guy I went to high school with on facebook. I had a crush on him back in the day and a few years ago attempted to reconnect with him by inviting him to a party I had at my house but nothing happened. Anyways, Mr. Memory Lane messaged me and we made small talk for a little while then asked if I wanted to grab dinner or drinks some time. At first, I thought it was a friendly invite trying to reconnect from somebody from high school. Remember my post about being a bad flirt? I’m pretty oblivious sometimes.

So, we talked for a couple weeks, texting, phone calls and it was glorious! He made me laugh and I finally was looking forward to going on a date with somebody. He’s cute, funny, hard working amongst other things. But yes, I was really looking forward to the idea of possibly dating somebody again.

We had a difficult time setting a day for us to meet because our schedules were a little off. Finally, I invited him to come meet with a couple girl friends of mine (they left pretty much as soon as he got there) and we just hung out for a little while. It was nice. We had a nice conversation and I really enjoyed myself. I couldn’t quite put my finger on how possibly felt.

Then about a day or so later, he stopped texting me. Just like that. Done.

Was he not attracted to me? Did he think I was weird? Did he think I was ugly? Or fat?? I mean, what the hell is it? It’s hard not to take stuff like this personally.

I think I may be at a point where I’m thinking something is wrong with me.

9 Comments »

that awkward moment when….

….you make the very sad realization that you’re practically the only single friend and family member.

It’s sad. It’s depressing. It’s so incredibly frustrating.

8 Comments »

inconsistency

I don’t know if this is just a guy thing or what…but…what is it with them being inconsistent?!? Do they think it’s okay to just disappear for a week or maybe two? There’s this guy I was texting…I haven’t heard from him in 8 days (I only know this from the time stamps on our texts). After a couple texts he has the NERVE to ask me for a picture. WHAT.THE.FUCK! I say “I haven’t heard from you in a week and then you ask for my picture?!” His response? “lol yes” WOW!! What in his mind makes that an okay thing to do?

There’s this other guy that I’ve been messaging back and forth on OkC and it’s been a little over a month. Of occasional messages that really have no meaning behind them. Just small talk “oh hows your day?” “it’s going well, just at work right now…” blah-di-blah.

I mean, why don’t these guys put some real effort in getting to know me?! I’m trying not to take it personally. I’m trying not to think “oh it must be me they don’t want to get to know” or “i’m not worthy enough for guys to get to know” but it’s getting really hard.

I know I have to be patient. The right guy will make the effort but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t suck in the meantime.

7 Comments »

Debatably Dateable

But Poetry, Beauty, Romance, Love, these are what we stay alive for

The Last Single Friend

A Girl's Misadventures in the Game of Love

Mattitude. "Matt's Entertainment"

Just stuff I see, experience and share

The Dating Diaries

TOO MANY WOMEN THROW THEMSELVES INTO ROMANCE BECAUSE THEY’RE AFRAID OF BEING SINGLE, THEN START MAKING COMPROMISES AND LOSING THEIR IDENTITY. WE REFUSE DO THAT

No ((Body Shame)) Campaign

"The secret of how to live without resentment or embarrassment in a world in which I was different from everyone else was to be indifferent to that difference." -Al Capp

Mind's Seat

Set your mind on the things above

Single Chicks Blog

About a Decade of Dating Advice Headed Your Way

Interracial Dating Sites Reviews

Interracial Dating Sites Reviews, Interracial Match Reviews

juliansherman.net/

Building A Business While Having A Life

Book Hub, Inc.

The Total Book Experience

The Happsters

Spread Positive Vibes. Give Love. Be Happy.

On the Train to Hogwarts

I Finally Got my Letter

HeartSphere

Conversations with the Heartmind

The Bitch Desk

Like the Help Desk only bitchier

It Occurs to Me...

I wrote the book Romeo's Dilemma, and I'm a former newspaper columnist. Now I divide my time between family, work, and skateboarding. Oh, and every now and then a write a bit...

Ellie More Or Less

Just another blog about weight loss

the fishbowl

ramblings of a nerdy art fag

mishisms

live, learn, laugh. repeat.

Countdown to 60

Aging on my terms - Daily musings in 500 words or so

The Great Sexcapade

Men, sex, relationships, and online dating

My Clutter Box

A Peek Inside One Girl's Head

theadventuresoftransman

Just another middle-aged guy raising a family ... except I gave birth to mine

Another Single Woman's Blog

Tales and thoughts of Dating with the challenge of kids and work.

Unconfirmed Bachelorette

Proudly living alone with cats

Top 10 of Anything and Everything!!!

Animals, Gift Ideas, Travel, Books, Recycling Ideas and Many, Many More

Black Book Confessions

Dating, sex and the single life

thelovemanifesto

Real. Life. Experienced.

seftag

Straight Eye for the Asian Guy, Perspectives on Dating and Life

Can I Get Ur Number?

Answering the question "Why Am I Single?" one post at a time...

Not Guilty By Reason Of Menopause

I'm Still Hot, It Just Comes in Flashes!

Goodwill Hoarding

We're not hoarding, we're collecting!

Fear Not. Come What May.

This blog is about embracing the fortunes and misfortunes that occur in the time we are dealt. I hope you enjoy the quirks, insights, and even some word vomit from this life I am blessed to be living.

Dating Is Hard

Stumbling Through The Adventures And Misadventures Of Dating With God's Grace

Twenty-Something; Young, & Drunk

A Drunk Girls Guide to Online Dating

Dating with Kate

The ups and downs of the dating world

Successful Online Dating

A fine WordPress.com site

How often do you masterdate?

... for those still reluctantly hopeful they'll find their "one."

missmatch42

A fine WordPress.com site

Everybody Wants Some

Working out my Van Halen on a (semi) daily basis.

herfinemess.org/

Her Fine Mess

redhead421's Blog

Midwest single girl discusses dating, food, working out, and more food.

deconstructeddatingproject

Two friends. Three months. Twelves dates. Ready, go.

Free My Thoughts

A 23 Year Girl Trying To Get Through Life's 'Challenges'...

countingducks

reflections on a passing life

imstilllsingle.wordpress.com/

Time for my own damn dating site!

The Dating Diaries

because single life can be an interesting time