thirty-somethings

life in all its glory

damaged goods

on June 19, 2017

I’m damaged. I can’t hang with online dating anymore. I’m fragile. I wish I wasn’t but it’s true.

I felt I really hit it off with a guy, we were sending these long and thoughtful messages to each other. He seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. I was excited about meeting him. We went on a coffee date and I haven’t heard from him since. It sucks. I felt that it was a pretty good date but not enough for him to want to continue talking to me?

I just don’t think I can do it anymore. I get really excited about meeting somebody and then they aren’t interested in me. What am I doing wrong? Readers, I know you’re going to tell me I’m not doing anything wrong. Blah blah. Clearly something is wrong and the most common denominator is me. All this does is make me sad.

I disabled my OkCupid account. Whomp.

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9 responses to “damaged goods

  1. CUCH says:

    Why wait for him yo contact you? Why didn’t you contact him?

  2. Join me in the offline dating world instead. I’m still convinced it’s the better way to go.

  3. Dating Fresh says:

    I agree that offline is more ideal but online still offers more opportunity, especially for straight women.

    When I exchange a number of messages with someone before meeting and then am not interested once we meet, it’s usually because there’s some disconnect between their online persona and in person. Maybe their pictures were dated or otherwise slightly inaccurate to their present appearance. Or, maybe they were just quite articulate online but then I find personality characteristics that I didn’t expect- big ego, very shy, aggressive, poor manners, etc., or even small things in demeanor- unexpected voice, poor posture, etc. that can shake the image I might have created before. Not sure if/where you have a disconnect, maybe ask a close friend for feedback? I’ve had luck choosing very “real” pictures, knowing I’m usually more attractive in person, and that almost never leads to disappointment even if the date isn’t s good fit, guys seem to appreciate being pleasantly surprised. But it might be harder to get matches in the first place, so always a trade off. Good luck!!!

  4. Teeeeef says:

    Don’t feel discouraged! The feeling of not hearing back totally sucks but it’s all part of the dating process. I always remind myself to detach a little when I start to date someone so I don’t get too discouraged if things don’t work out. It doesn’t mean you can’t be emotionally involved or think about him less – just a little detachment. Anyhow, do not take it personally because there’s honestly nothing wrong with you. He chose to seek for other things like you are seeking for someone as well. I wouldn’t assume you would say yes to every guy on a dating website. You have your own values and so does he and you need to find someone that appreciates you. Again, I know it totally sucks and i am not diaregarding how you feel. Take the time you need to heal but I hope a different perspective can ease your heart.

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