thirty-somethings

life in all its glory

why match.com sucks

I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m on two dating sites. Why? Because all of the excitement I get from one just isn’t enough. I hope you picked up on my sarcasm there.

I’m on OkCupid and Match.com. Honestly, I just wanted to see how a paid site is vs. a free one. I get more guys messaging me on okc than match.

On Match, I did the 6-month guarantee thingie. Basically, you pay for six months and if you don’t find anybody in those six months, you get another six months for free. There are rules though:

  1. Contact at least 5 new members per month (I usually contact much more than the required 5)
  2. Have photo “visibility” (there isn’t a numbers you should have up but as long as we have something up there)
  3. Profile visibility (this one seems obvious, if it isn’t visible…nobody can contact you. duh)

Last month I realized I wasn’t really getting ANY responses so at the beginning of the month, I reset the visitor number so I can see how many guys visit my profile and compare it to how many messages I was getting. So far, I’ve had 130 visits to my profile and out of those 130, I’ve gotten THREE different men contact me. Two of which I initially contacted. One was Mr. Linguist and the other just fell off the face of the planet. We exchanged numbers and a few texts but boom! He was gone.

The problem with Match is that only people who have paid subscriptions can have conversations. I noticed that some of the messages I was sending out weren’t even being read. Does that mean the “matches” coming up for me to check out aren’t even subscribed members? WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT TO ME MATCH?! My options should be people I can actually talk to.

Out of those 130 views, only three people were interested in me?! WTF?

Some of those view could have been the same guy looking again, I usually do that when I first start talking to somebody so I can reference certain things in his profile. BUT STILL! I’m not going to lie, this is a little discouraging.

I’m about to finish up my sixth month on Match. Let’s hope I have more luck in the future.

On a completely unrelated note, I’m starting a 7 day detox/weight loss plan today. Today is day 1: fruits. It’s going to be an interesting week!

44 Comments »

because awards are fun

Okay so, three awesome bloggers awarded me with the Liebster Award.

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I love these chain blogging awards, they make me so happy! The three bloggers that nominated me are: Suburban Girl, Impossible to Date, and Socially Oxward (side note: I’m so glad I finally learned how to do this linking thing! It makes things so much easier). I’m so thankful for having three separate people taking the time to nominate me! If you aren’t already following their blogs, you should. They’re all awesome! 

The rules for the Liebster Award are very simple: You are required to thank the person who nominated you, answer the 11 question they have asked you, nominate 11 other people and ask them 11 questions in return. According to the guidelines the Liebster award should be sent to bloggers with less than 200 followers so that new bloggers can see how awesome they are!

I suppose I could answer each one of the 11 questions…but I think that would make this post long and boring. So I’m going to pick my favorite 11 questions out of the 33. Sorry it’s so cut throat. 

Here are my answers to my top 11 questions: 

  1. Favorite punctuation mark? Explain. A: semicolon. I mean, is it a period? Is it a comma? It’s a confused little punctuation mark and I love it. I’m not even sure I know how to use it correctly. It’s also really weird to hand write a semicolon. I feel I have to emphasize the comma in it. 
  2. What’s the best food ever? Ever. (Also same question as favorite food) A: I’m going to go ahead and say Gnocchi. It’s by far my favorite thing to eat. If you don’t know what they are…I can best describe it as potato balls. I actually love anything with potatoes. Starchy goodness. Mmmm. 
  3. If a genie could grant you three wishes right now, what would they be? A: 1. Win the lotto. Sure, they say money doesn’t buy happiness but having that kind of cash would sure as hell solve a lot of my problems AND I’d be able to help a crap ton of people (including my parents so they can officially retire). 2. Get accepted into the USC Masters in Social Work program. 3. For me to find the man of my dreams and for us to live happily ever after (hey, a girl can dream…right?) 
  4. What’s your favorite part about blogging? A: The community. This is my first time blogging so I didn’t really have any expectations for it. The people I follow, generally follow the same blogs so it’s like we’ve developed this little community. It’s awesome! Also, blogging has been a great way for me to process my thoughts and feelings. Doing that has always been extremely difficult. It still is but I’m working through it! 
  5. What is humanity’s biggest flaw? A: oh my! That is quite the question. There are a lot of things I could list here. Lack of empathy, selfishness, greed, racism, politics, violence, everybody thinks they’re right and what they’re doing is the right way to do it (I don’t know if there’s a word for that), too judgmental, laziness (people think that simply “liking” a page on facebook is going to create some sort of social change, if you really feel strongly about…get off your ass and do something about it!), ignorance, people are so wasteful, and…ummm….corruption. [another side note: I got my bachelor’s in sociology, which is why i really wanted to answer this question! haha]
  6. If you had the ability to fix or cure one thing in the world, what would it be? A: This one is going to be a two-part answer. If it was medical…I’d like it to be diabetes. If it was some sort of humanitarian effort, I’d cure the world of poverty. 
  7. How do you envision your life in 10 years from now? A: IDEALLY, I’d love to be married with kids by then. Also have my masters and PhD done as well. However, I’ve learned that things don’t always go your way. If I don’t find somebody to marry and have kids with in the next 5-7 years…I’ll find another way start a family. I’m not going to sit around and wait for prince charming lol. Having kids is way more important than finding a husband. 
  8. Do you believe in finding ‘the one’? A: yes and no. I used to believe it but what if that person dies at a very young age? Are we supposed to remain single just because we thought they were “the one”? No, I don’t think so. I believe we’re meant to be with a certain person; however, I also believe that there could be other people out there that you’re just as compatible with. 
  9. What’s the most important thing you value in life? A: my family and friends. They’re so incredibly important to me. I don’t know what I would do without them. 
  10. If you could have any job you wanted, what would it be? A: I told one of my professors, I want to be like him when I grow up. This was recent, not like ten years ago haha. He’s a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a PhD in Addictive Studies who has his own practice and is also a part time college professor. I would love to have my own practice and be a college professor. Both are my dream jobs, I can’t pick one. 
  11. What have you learnt most about finding love through your adventures to date? A: Oh dear. I left this one last on purpose. I’ve learned so much and I know I will continue learning more. I’ll mention what I think is the most important. I’ve learned that it’s not necessary for me to find somebody to be happy. I’m just as content with myself. I can start a family on my own so it’s not the end of the world if I don’t find a husband. I’ve learned that I need to continue focusing on myself. I’ve seen so many people lose themselves in relationships and I don’t ever want that to happen to me. I’ve learned that not everything has be taken so damn seriously. This blog has helped me process my experiences and make me laugh off the shitty times. Bad things happen sometimes and that’s okay. I’ve also learned that I’m pretty damn awesome and I will not settle for just anybody for the sake of being with somebody. 

Well there you have it, kiddos. I actually really enjoyed answering those questions! 

Now, the time has come for me to pass this award along. I’m going to try my best to nominate people who haven’t gotten it yet (or at least recently)! 

Okay, that’s it. Check out those people and the ones that nominated me. You won’t be disappointed. 

Here are the questions I’d love to hear your answers for (I’ll try and make them fun/interesting): 

  1. Have you done your taxes yet? If not, why? 
  2. What is your most embarrassing moment? 
  3. Is your toilet paper over or under? 
  4. Do you have a favorite super hero? 
  5. When is the last time you cried? 
  6. When is the last time you had sex? 
  7. Who or what inspires you? Why? 
  8. What was your last good deed? 
  9. If you had the chance to know what day and how you were going to die, would you want to know? Explain. 
  10. Do you have any strange phobias? 
  11. Name something you do when you’re alone that you wouldn’t do in front of others

I had been putting off writing this because I knew it was going to be such a time consuming task. I’m glad it’s done! 

Thanks again for the nominations. Oh and…I’ll probably be posting about a guy I have a date with next week. I need to think of a clever name for him. 

8 Comments »

feeling content

As we all know, it’s valentine’s day and I’m surprisingly okay with it. No, I don’t have a guy in my life. No, I don’t have a hot date tonight. 

Every year…I’m usually hating life on valentine’s day. I get into a major funk and become a ball of emotion with a “bitter betty” stamp on my forehead. I also always tell myself…maybe next year I’ll actually be with somebody and when that next year rolls around I’m disappointed in myself for spending another valentine’s day as a single woman. I’ve never had a valentine. I mean, a real valentine. I’ve hung out with my girl friends or gone out with one of my gay guy friends but never a real date. 

The past year (or so) has come with a lot of transformation. I’ve battled depression for a very long time but I made the commitment that I would make a very conscious decision to be more positive and to live a positive lifestyle. I cut a lot of people out of my life that needed to be cut out. It hasn’t been easy and I still have my “down in the dumps” kind of days but my general outlook on life is now pretty damn positive. 

Anyways, being single sucks sometimes but I’m not hating life today and that feels SO good to say. 

I feel like I’m going back to how I used to be. Just happy, bubbly and outgoing. Also, speed dating is happening tonight maybe that’s contributing to my non-depressing outlook on v-day. I’m not expecting to meet the man of my dreams but I’m looking forward to doing something out of my comfort zone. 

 

With that being said….HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! Hope everyone has a fantastic day! 😀 

 

13 Comments »

feeling inspired?

I was nominated for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award by the awesome http://bookishguyseeks.wordpress.com/ I am so appreciative of it. He has a pretty incredible blog. I look forward to his posts, you should check it out 🙂

inspiring-blogger-award

Here are the rules of the award:
1.) Display the award logo on your blog.
2.) Link back to the person who nominated you.
3.) State 7 things about yourself.
4.) Nominate 15 bloggers for this award.
5.) Notify those bloggers of the nomination by linking to one of their specific posts so that they get notified by ping back.

Here are my 7 things about myself:
1. I speak three languages. Portuguese, English, and Spanish. Learned them in that order. My parents are Brasilian which is why I speak Portuguese fluently.
2. I was a Girl Scout from kindergarden to my senior year in high school. I also received the two highest awards available for Girl Scouts: Silver Award and Gold Award.
3. I was nominated for the class clown award in 8th grade and my senior year of high school; however, I really don’t think I’m all that funny lol. I’m just overly friendly and get along with all sorts of people and make them laugh every now and again
4. It has been one month and 10 days since I’ve quit smoking
5. I love netflix. I’m currently watching every episode of the X-Files, I’m currently about half way into season 6.
6. It has taken me way too long to think of random/interesting facts about myself.
7. I absolutely love board games or games in general. Taboo and scrabble are my favorite.

Now, here are some people you should follow:
1. http://sociopathicuttlefish.wordpress.com/
2. http://windwhisp.wordpress.com/
3. http://foreverlyandalways.wordpress.com/
4. http://itssinch.wordpress.com/

Sorry guys, I’m only posting four. I’ll probably add to this later, but it’s 3:15 in the morning. It’s time for me to go to sleep.

8 Comments »

personality tests

OkCupid has a incredible amount of personality tests. When I’m bored at work…I’ll usually sit and takes a couple just because I have nothing better to do. 

Anyways, I’ve come to the realization that these personality tests are freakishly accurate. 

Here’s a glimpse of some of my results: 

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Yes, I took the Harry Potter test…don’t judge me…judge all you want. 

They’re basically saying: 

  • I love to be in control 
  • I’m headstrong 
  • Opinionated and straight-forward 
  • Open-minded 
  • I have a good personality 
  • Dependable 

Yeah, that’s pretty spot on. I couldn’t have said it better myself. 

Thank you OkCupid for not only helping me out when I’m bored but also providing me with some insight into my personality. Does anybody feel the same way? I’m curious to know whether or not other OkCupid users feel these tests are relatively accurate.  

 

 

9 Comments »

yes man

As some of you may or may not know, I’ve been a little bit in a funk lately. Can’t exactly pin point what I’m feeling or why I’m feeling it but I guess I’d explain it as feeling “blah.” (Yes, I realize that isn’t very descriptive). 

I went out to dinner with one of my good friends the other night and for some reason she brought up the movie Yes Man. I can’t remember why it was brought up but the point that was made is that I should develop a “yes man” mentality. 

For those of you that haven’t seen the movie….it stars Jim Carey. It’s about how Jim’s character vows to say yes to everything that comes his way for a year because his life was stuck in a rut and he wanted to get out. Interesting movie, I liked it. 

I’m going to do it. Or at least try to. I have already mentioned before that I want to start doing more “stuff.” I need to get out there, I need to feel comfortable doing things on my own. I need to figure out what I actually like to do and know how to answer the question: “so what do you like to do for fun?”

As long as it doesn’t get in the way of my work (and school), potentially harm me or put my health in danger, and lastly if I can afford it…then it’s all fair game! 

To start it off…I signed up for a couple of match.com stir events. Speed dating and game night. I usually wouldn’t go unless I had somebody to go with but I really want to go so I’m not going to sit and hopefully wait for a friend to confirm. Going alone is definitely out of my comfort zone. But I’m okay with that. 

This is going to be interesting. 

16 Comments »

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