life in all its glory

why sucks

on March 22, 2013

I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m on two dating sites. Why? Because all of the excitement I get from one just isn’t enough. I hope you picked up on my sarcasm there.

I’m on OkCupid and Honestly, I just wanted to see how a paid site is vs. a free one. I get more guys messaging me on okc than match.

On Match, I did the 6-month guarantee thingie. Basically, you pay for six months and if you don’t find anybody in those six months, you get another six months for free. There are rules though:

  1. Contact at least 5 new members per month (I usually contact much more than the required 5)
  2. Have photo “visibility” (there isn’t a numbers you should have up but as long as we have something up there)
  3. Profile visibility (this one seems obvious, if it isn’t visible…nobody can contact you. duh)

Last month I realized I wasn’t really getting ANY responses so at the beginning of the month, I reset the visitor number so I can see how many guys visit my profile and compare it to how many messages I was getting. So far, I’ve had 130 visits to my profile and out of those 130, I’ve gotten THREE different men contact me. Two of which I initially contacted. One was Mr. Linguist and the other just fell off the face of the planet. We exchanged numbers and a few texts but boom! He was gone.

The problem with Match is that only people who have paid subscriptions can have conversations. I noticed that some of the messages I was sending out weren’t even being read. Does that mean the “matches” coming up for me to check out aren’t even subscribed members? WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT TO ME MATCH?! My options should be people I can actually talk to.

Out of those 130 views, only three people were interested in me?! WTF?

Some of those view could have been the same guy looking again, I usually do that when I first start talking to somebody so I can reference certain things in his profile. BUT STILL! I’m not going to lie, this is a little discouraging.

I’m about to finish up my sixth month on Match. Let’s hope I have more luck in the future.

On a completely unrelated note, I’m starting a 7 day detox/weight loss plan today. Today is day 1: fruits. It’s going to be an interesting week!


44 responses to “why sucks

  1. Dar says:

    When I was single, back in ’04, I always enjoyed okc much more than other sites. Maybe because it was quirkier…?

  2. New Single Guy says:

    I used as well, and it was absolute shit for me.

  3. Audrey says:

    Good luck! I’ve heard POF is pretty good. One of my frenemies wanted to make me an account. I told her I wasn’t going to try online dating until I was 21. Or whatever. As for the detox diet, goooooood luckkk!!! I have it pinned on my pinterest.

    • dsantos85 says:

      I tried POF a couple years ago and it was awful! Haha.

      As for the detox diet…I did good!! I actually started slipping up towards the end but I lost about 1lb per day…so I’m back on track with my weight loss. Pretty awesome! Thank for the support πŸ™‚

  4. Hmm, have you tried speed dating?

  5. Debby says:

    Most people I know how got lucky with online dating, met through OKC. I hear the same things about you bring up. I had a friend working at How about we, who set me up with an account, but it’s just awful. And not that OKC is that much better… but at least it’s free. πŸ™‚

  6. Brandon says:

    I’ve had the best luck meeting people with OkCupid. With match, you have no idea if the person you sent a message to is a paid member or not and have no idea how often they respond when they are a paid member.

  7. Petra says:

    I tried pof and it was full of weirdos, scammers, spammers, and kids pretending to be grown-ups, so BEWARE!

  8. Ya, it does suck…big time. I too thought I’d try a second dating site in hopes of getting something better. Well, I can see people are viewing my profile, but no one is contacting me! Will definitely be ending the subscription after the 6 months is up!!!

  9. Tiffany says:

    This is brilliant! Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I’ve been looking to read a perspective on through a female. I paid a membership fee but am having a similar experience and it’s disappointing. I’m not sure if I should continue being active on it. Anyhow, thanks again for the thoughts!

    • dsantos85 says:

      Hi there! Sorry about the late reply…I didn’t mind match so much because I felt that since I was on another site, it didn’t matter. Most people that I know how do online dating, are on at least a couple of sites. Is that the case with you? If not, go ahead and sign up for another one! πŸ˜‰

  10. S-NUT says:

    I am 48, male and average looks or better, in shape. I get shit for responses from match. I also had 670 women look at my profile and only a few have written me. Is it something I said? I doubt it. The profile is very tame. Match has always sucked. I’m moving on. My take is that many of the people on there are just plain conservative. Another word for that would be BORING!! Match can burn for all I care.

  11. Ryan says:

    I too join the ranks of the people having poor luck on match. I’m decent looking, in good shape (run 4 miles a day & lift heavy weights), with a well paying job, and a bright future. I have had horrible luck with match. Numerous profile viewings from others checking me out, but no email responses. Even if my profile read like a train wreck looks, I still should receive a few responses. I agree with the other comments that many of the profiles on match aren’t paying members. Basically just wasting my time and chipping away at my self esteem a tad bit.

  12. Rasec says:

    I have been with match a few weeks and I have to say it sucks. I told a friend of mine I took out a three month match subscription and he replied by saying (what …..why are you dumping money on that garbage. ) my cousin said the exact same thing. So far it seems a bunch of the women on that site are already involved or just needing some form of attention. My friend told me that’s what I will get and that its ridiculous some keep their profiles active and answer email while supposidly being involved already. Seems like that’s all I’m getting.

  13. stephanie says:

    I have to say, Match SUCKS. There must be 10 women for every man. I also look good, take care of myself and have a brain. Almost without exception, the men on this site are only interested in women at least 10 years younger, if not more. So I only get emails from men far older, and men my age won’t respond.

  14. Murray says:

    I have a doughy physique and and a face like melted lego. Chicks still get in touch on match. Maybe it’s because I leave my shirt on and don’t feel the need to tell them how HEAVY the weights I lift are.

  15. stylishchic says:

    I’m on too i thought something was wrong with me. I would email guys and they would check my profile and not respond LOL so im like am I that ugly rotfllllll But im glad all of you agree ok ima check okCupid out

  16. Alex says:

    I’ve had the exact same problem. I was on Okc for like a week, and I had so many guys message me it became unbearable (because they were all creepy or just wanted sex) so I closed my profile. I’ve been on match the same amount of time and NO ONE has messaged me. And I’ve have like 230 views or more. I don’t understand!! At least I signed up for the 6month guarantee, because I’m not finding anybody.

  17. D says: sucks because they can’t figure out my accounts and now I have 4 different logins and can’t reply because I only have 1 paid subscription but they can’t pull their head out far enough to fix the issue.

  18. Jim R says:

    Besides the lack of available matches nearby, they charged me a full $119 for the year and I did not know it. I unsubscribed 2 weeks after they charged but did not know until I received my credit card. So fro the 2 weeks I was not even on they charged me the full year. Shady company. And it is over priced as well. Not to mention all the people looking for Barbie/Ken robots.

  19. Liz says: has too many scammers from Nigeria. I spotted one the other day and thank God I was careful enough not to give him my email or any info that he can use to identify me. I have like 20 guys contacted me in the first 3 days, and half of them are like 10-40 years older than me. But the worse one is still the scammer. I’ve already canceled my subscription and made my profile invisible. It’s a terrible experience.

  20. Davis says:

    I have also had bad luck with Match. As far as I can tell, I think many members do not have subscriptions, so unless they pay, they will not respond to my emails. And unless I pay, I cannot respond. This is an idiotic set up. I would actually prefer to pay twice as much per month if the people I contact are able to respond and start a conversation with me for free. In fact, if I actually got any responses, I would probably continue my membership longer. But, I’m basically disheartened by the responses I have received and couldn’t care less that 6 girls viewed my profile this week. Why can’t I at least even look at the girls profiles who looked at my profile for free? I honestly hate the way the site operates. Makes dating frustrating and shoots down your confidence level when so few people respond. I am successful and fairly good looking, as far as I can tell. I am a male, by the way.

  21. Thanks for writing this post. Wish I’d found it before I joined match. Just cancelled my subscription this morning. Joined on the 2nd, sent out 10 emails, had my account blocked on the 5th with no explanatory email. Thank whatever-gods-might-be-out-there I only paid for a month! Still, that was $36.95 AU down the drain. .

    • dsantos85 says:

      yeah it was money down the drain for me as well 😦

      • Something amazing I thought I’d share with you: refunded my money! Perhaps it was because they accepted that the fault was theirs in not sending an explanatory email. Nevertheless, I was blown away to find the refund in my bank account..

  22. Jason Rudd says:

    For a guy, has always been a problem. yes, it sucks and it has sucked for many years. There’s always been a horde of fake profiles, usually with generic sentimental profiles and only one or two fake pictures of a very attractive woman. At first when you sign up, you get a ton of winks and “likes”, by these fake profiles which disappear as soon as you actually pay to message them. This tells me that is absolutely complicit in the amount of “fishing” that goes on, and the company probably generates all that initial fake traffic to begin with. It’s hard to believe they get away with this kind of scamming for so many years! When is there going to be a proper lawsuit for this kind of unethical business practice? Second, I don’t understand why there’s so many scammers on – a site where you have to pay – vs. a “free” site like OKC or POF where for men at least, the number of fake likes and favorites seems to be far less. The only reason I can think of is that, again, it’s a scam by itself to keep you thinking that site actually does something for you. Third, the reason why women seem to be getting far fewer messages than they might like is that both men and women online tend to only go for the most attractive profiles. With full of fake but attractive women, a lot of men may soon give up on the site or waste so much energy with the fakes that they just sort of give up in futility. That’s my take on it. I’m positive is complicit in the amount of fake “likes” and profiles and they should be taken to task on it – it’s hard to understand how it’s allowed to operate like it does.

  23. Billy says:

    I’m going to be blunt, women. As a decent guy on Match, I get lots of views and have on average one message per day from a new woman. I rarely contact them back. Why? Because their standards are unrealistic and I don’t meet them. They say they want a man with a $75,000 salary. Or they have kids and don’t want anymore, but I don’t have any of my own and want them, especially if you expect me to help support your children (you say you don’t but trust me if we move in together it will just happen that way). Or they just try to hone in on how much money I make and size me up by my supposed status according to my job. Why would I waste my time with these women? If they want to be that unrealistic with high standards just because they’re paying for Match, then they should expect to have a low probability of success. I’m actually respecting their standards by not contacting them. I went through a 3 week phase where I did message them back and lied my pants off just to sleep with them because I too was going to make sure I got my money’s worth from Match. Then I felt bad when I started ghosting them because I couldn’t carry on a lie anymore. So I decided not to bother with it at all.

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