thirty-somethings

life in all its glory

religion or lack there of

on March 18, 2013

Disclaimer: I will be talking about my stance on religion. I will always respect whatever religion (or not) you follow, I ask that you do the same for me. Please do not attack my beliefs in any sort of way (which essentially means, don’t try and convince me that I’m wrong). 

So, I had my date with Mr. Linguist on Friday. We had a bit of a rough start. We were supposed to meet at 6 but I had some crazy work shit to deal with so I got held back later than expected. I sent him a text half an hour before we were supposed to meet to let him know I was going to be about 10 minutes late. I hate being late but I tried my best to be there as quick as possible and apologizing to him as well. When I was about 10 minutes away, he asked me how far away I was and I told him my GPS said 12 minutes. He said he had to make a pit stop somewhere but he would be there soon. That “pit stop” lasted what seemed like forever. He didn’t get there until practically 7pm. We were supposed to meet for drinks, that was WAY past my dinner time. I was hungry. But whatever, he apologized for being so late. Something about his dad holding him up (why he decided to pay his dad a visit when he was about to meet me is just mind boggling). 

When he finally got there, we hit it off really well. Not sure if the physical attraction was there but he was really nice! His sarcasm was reallyyyyy intense. I consider myself to be a sarcastic person but DAMN! I even had a hard time keeping up at times. 

The date was going really well until that ever-so-dreaded topic of religion came up. I told him I’d rather not talk about it but he insisted that we do. He wasn’t being a dick about it…just playfully brought it up. 

That’s when the things just went a little sour. Not in a “we’re just going to give attitude to each other” but more so in a “we know it’s not going to work out between us.”

I guess I need to learn how to better explain myself when it comes to religion. I grew up catholic and I told him I identify myself as Catholic but I’m not practicing (it wasn’t always this way, I’ve changed my views on religion within the past few years). Maybe that was misleading on my part? I don’t know. I believe in some sort of higher being but I don’t believe in prayer. Because, in my experiences…it doesn’t work. I believe that if God had soooo much control over everything…certain things wouldn’t be the way that they are. He corrected me and said I’m “culturally catholic.” I’m not too sure what that means…but whatevs. I know I have some issues with religion that I need to get sorted out but I’m not ready to deal with all of that just yet. 

When I tried explaining this to Mr. Linguist, he started defending his side. Basically started to tell me how I was wrong. I mean, I get it…he’s very into his religion. I used to be the same way.

I tried telling him again that I really felt we shouldn’t be talking about religion but he insisted, once again. 

For the remainder of the date, he would “joke” by saying things like “oh let’s pray about it.” I mean, I think he was joking…cause he’d laugh about it. But if I just told you I don’t believe in prayer or anything like that…why continue bringing it up? Even if it’s just a “joke.” After we talked about my stance on religion, I told him that it would be completely understandable if it was a deal breaker for him and wouldn’t hold it against him. He said something along the lines of: it would make him a judgmental person if that was a deal breaker for him.

I didn’t reach out to him and he didn’t reach out to me after the date. I think that’s done and over with. I guess in a sense it’s good that we talked about it because it could have eventually caused drama in the future. 

I went from talking to three men to zero. Back to square one. 

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12 responses to “religion or lack there of

  1. Dar says:

    WTF kind joke is ‘let’s pray about it?’ after you told him you don’t believe in prayer?? What a douche…

  2. impossibletodate says:

    From reading this I don’t think he really gave a hoot about religion.

    You said he was a sarcastic so maybe he was just trying to wind you up when you started talking about religion becasue it sounds like you have had a lot of thought about it.

    For example. I too am catholic, I was baptised and had a communion, I went to private catholic schools with nuns and was preached to about the bible. After school my sister and I made our own choices and although we say we are catholic to people we don’t attend church or pray, we believe we are believers and don’t need to be show everyone we are by going to church.

    My housemate on the other hand thinks religion is a joke, that god is a joke and people that believe the bible are living in fairyland, she is highly opinionated and when she makes her point she gets really involved. I am a complete sarcastic smart ass so when she rattles on about her non religious crap I wind her up so bad that she gets angry and storms off. She knows I am being smart which shits her even more, it’s funny, watching passionate perople get worked up.

    I dont think this one is lost for you. I think he was just being a smarty pants trying to wind you up. Take a punt and message or email him and saying something jokingly in there so he knows you found it funny “I found myself praying to see you again”

    Do it, what do you have to loose 🙂

    • dsantos85 says:

      LOL. I would love to see the situation between you and your roommate!!

      He is actually pretty religious though, he had it written in his profile (apparently i missed it lol). I mean he teaches catechism classes, goes to church regularly and all that stuff. I think he realized that being with somebody that’s religious is more important to him than he originally thought. I just commented back to Project Southsea…It’s not the fact that he joked about it that irritated me, it’s the fact that he continuously joked about it. The first two times were actually funny but after that…it just got annoying hahah.

      I thought about messaging him after reading your comment but honestly…if he was all that interested, he would’ve messaged me. Ya know?

      • impossibletodate says:

        If he wrote it in his profile and he teaches and practices then yes he is into his religion. My bad! It’s something that is hard for me to understand, maybe because I have never faced this issue. I know in the USA religion is a strong point, not so much as in AUS. Maybe just move here and find yourself a chilled out Aussie lad.

        I also watched he’s just not that into you on the weekend, gosh I love it and you just referenced the main point to the movie. If he or she likes you in return they will do anything to make it work!

        Back to the drawing board! Seriously just come here, the men would die for your accent!

      • dsantos85 says:

        hahaha….i’ll think about relocating in a couple of years when i finish my master’s program. Good to know my accent is appreciated out there!

        And…yes, I referenced that movie but also a book “why men love bitches.” The main point I got from both was that…if a man wants to be with you, he WILL be with you. Regardless of the situation. He’ll make it known. So, I do what I can to make sure the guy knows I’m interested BUT I will not make all of the effort. Ya know?

  3. As someone who makes poorly timed and misinterpreted jokes and comments routinely I think it is totally plausible that maybe he was just making a rubbish joke or trying to get a reaction out of you.

    Sounds like he wasn’t right for you anyways. Religion isn’t exactly ‘comedy gold’, especially on a first date.

    • dsantos85 says:

      He definitely isn’t right for me. The thing is…the first and second time he made the “lets pray about it joke,” I actually thought it was funny! Buttttt…..after the third time, I was just over it. Ya know? So it wasn’t the fact that he made the joke, it’s the fact that he continuously made the joke…over and over again.

  4. New Single Guy says:

    Interesting. We’re parallel right now. End up talking with someone about religion and faith and we both hit square one right afterwards.

  5. SEFTAG says:

    Religion is always a touchy subject and shouldn’t come up so quickly! Sounds like he was a douche…

  6. Chris says:

    I hate the religion talk. All my shit goes sour right then and there.

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