thirty-somethings

life in all its glory

haters gon’ hate

So I got what I’d like to call my first “haters comment” on my last post. This person basically dissected my entire post in bullet point format essentially saying I am drama, irrational and I deserve to be treated the way that I was. Obviously not in those exact words lol but that’s what I got from the comment. I didn’t approve the comment because I will not allow somebody to write that nonsense on my blog. Most of the people that read my blog do not know me well enough to make an assessment about me like he/she did (I’m totally assuming it was a guy though). 

The entire comment was 884 words, yes…I had to copy and paste it into Word because I just had to know. That’s OVER one page, typed! First, this person cares way too much about what I’ve had to say and secondly…who the hell has THAT much time on their hands? 

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Saw this somewhere on Facebook late last night. I can’t remember where though. This had me legitimately laughing out loud.

Anyway…I knew some sort of hater was going to cross my path at some point. I mean, I am putting myself out for the public to read about. Does this make me an official blogger now? Maybe! I’m sure it’ll happen again. In which case, I’ll brush it under the rug again because to be quite honest…I don’t really give a shit! 

Here’s a little snippet of what he/she said: 

“I won’t call you an “asshole”, but I will say that you would do well to take responsibility for yourself rather than demanding that others give you special treatment….You may not be “crazy”, but you certainly aren’t rational, at least as far as this “male friend” of yours is concerned.” 

I didn’t even go into detail about what my male friend and I had a falling out over…so that’s just ridiculous lol. Also, I’m pretty sure I didn’t ask for special treatment. 

I think some people just like to be not only critical of others but also put them down.

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I love writing about my dating adventures because it puts things into perspective for me. There are so many awesome people that comment and give me their advice…I love it because it’s so helpful to hear somebody else’s perspective on whatever is going on in my life. To those people: thank you! 

To anybody who feels the need to berate others, fuck off. I don’t need your negativity.  

 

13 Comments »

I’m not crazy, dammit!

Men and women are stereotyped on specific things. Women are made out to be overly emotional, irrational, dramatic, illogical and weak. Yes, some women actually are those things sometimes but it is so frustrating when you get into a disagreement with a man and those characteristics are automatically thrown in your face and your feelings aren’t regarded to as legitimate.  

“Are you on your period or something?” That question should be erased from the male mind. Sometimes my hormones do get a little out of whack but I’m able to control how I react to something. 

Just because we bring up a concern does not necessarily mean we’re being emotional and illogical. Men, have you thought that maybe…just MAYBE we may be right and you’re just being a dick? Yes, I understand that some women are pretty nuts but for us women who are logical, it’s an unfair assessment of who we are as a person. And yes, I understand that not all guys are insensitive to a woman’s feelings. 

I had a falling out with a close guy friend of mine not too long ago. He really hurt my feelings by saying some things to me. I tried talking to him about it like an adult but he shut me down, called me silly for the way I reacted, belittled me, ignored what I had to say and much more. In his mind, I was being a “woman” and just overreacting. As a human being, I am entitled to feel what I want to feel. You don’t have to necessarily agree with what I’m feeling or why I’m feeling them BUT you should at the very least attempt to understand why I’m upset and not completely ignore the situation. 

Mr. 007 texted me just a few minutes after my post went up about him (crazy timing, right?). He sent me a half assed text saying sorry he never got back to me and asked how I was doing. Since I told myself I would speak up for myself if he actually got back to me, I had to come up with some sort of response to him. Later on, one of my best friends and I drafted up my response. It was a little bit of an ordeal because I didn’t want to come off as emotional and needy. It’s so sad that I have to be so careful like that. All because I’m a woman and don’t want those negative stereotypes thrown in my face. After about half an hour, she and I came up with: 

“I understand you’re a busy guy and all but you left me hanging mid-conversation. If you’re interested in me, all I ask is that you show you’re interested in me. If you aren’t (which is totally fine), then let me know now.” 

Short, sweet and to the point. No emotional remarks and nothing needy (at least I don’t think it sounds that way lol). Anyways, what was his response? 

“Sorry, I don’t want this drama.” 

First of all, I’m not being dramatic. It’s called being an adult and having an adult conversation. If he was into me, he wouldn’t have said that. I wasn’t asking for much. I was asking for him to put a little bit more effort in. 

He wanted an out. Which is understandable but saying I was being drama is completely uncalled for. It was a well thought out message. 

We just can’t win…. 

I hope that someday we’re able to shake off those stereotypes and be listened to. I know that’s a long shot because there are actually some crazies out there (men and women). We’re not always emotional, dramatic, illogical or weak. I actually have a good head on my shoulders, I’m relatively logical and I’m not always emotional. You sir, might just be an asshole and you don’t want to take responsibility for your actions. 

24 Comments »

Mr. 007

Back in October, I met a guy…we can call him Mr. 007. We really hit it off, or so I thought. We had a couple of dates, we even made out! It would’ve probably gone further had I allowed it. 

In the midst of our “hanging out” phase, I found him on instagram. Yeah, I know…it’s stalkerish, judge me if you want. I noticed he was hanging out with a particular chick quite often. I tried not to think much of it because I have a lot of guy friends so I can’t be too judgmental. One night he called me around 10:30pm saying I should come over. We all know that’s booty call time. I prefaced my answer by saying I really don’t want you to get offended and explained to him that I wasn’t going to come over because I actually kinda liked him and didn’t want to ruin things by bringing sex into the equation too soon. It was a little more wordy than that but you all get the point. He got super butt hurt and sorta became an asshole. I’m pretty sure he had been drinking. We said our good nights and what not. I never heard from him again. 

Until about last week. Yes, last week. THREE months later. He hits me up out of the blue saying it’s been a long time since we’ve spoken blah blah. I respond hours later because “I was busy.” We end up actually talking on the phone later on that night and made it seem that I was the one that didn’t contact him. UM NO. I told him he got all butt hurt when I didn’t come over late at night and never heard from him. His response actually surprised me, he said “I can see why that left a sour taste in your mouth, I apologize.” 

Wow. He apologized. Cool! I told him it was fine because we had only hung out a couple of times. 

Anyways, I end up checking him out on instagram again. Well, because I needed to see what happened during this three month hiatus. Turns out…him and that broad became a couple. I think they’re broken up though because he had a recent picture with #singlelife. WTF? 

Mr.007 disappeared for a couple of days and said he wasn’t ignoring me and he was just busy. We talked a bit the next day (on saturday) but I haven’t heard from him since. It was a few texts back and forth but he completely ignored my last text. And boom, he’s gone…again.  

WHY MUST YOU CONTACT ME IF YOU DON’T PLAN ON GOING THROUGH WITH IT?! Just fuck off Mr.007. If you text me again, I’m probably going to say…listen if you’re into me then take the fucking time to show it, if not…delete my damn number. 

 

Sorry for my rant. I’m irritated, hungry and all alone in the office today. 

 

12 Comments »

i just want to feel wanted

I’ve been in a little bit of a funk lately. I think it’s about time I try and sort through these thoughts of mine.

Wanting to feel wanted applies to many aspects of my life. Not just dating; although, the point of my post is about the dating aspect, I think.

I’m not a fan of my job; actually…I kind of hate it. But, it is what it is. I’m (hopefully) going to start grad school in the fall, so things will change soon! I don’t feel like I’m needed/wanted there. I don’t feel challenged. I feel that everything would be just fine if I wasn’t there.

With my friends, I just want to feel that they think about me when they hang out and want me to join them so they call me and invite me. Even if it is last minute. I just want to know that I crossed somebody’s mind.

Even in my dating life…I want to feel wanted. I was recently at one of my friends house and her boyfriend was there. Throughout the night, he referred to her as beautiful, pretty, sexy, and maybe a couple other words describing how good looking she is. I love that she’s with somebody like that. She deserves it. I’ve never had that though. I’ve never had a man I’m seeing say that to me. Is that weird? I think it is. It’s no wonder why I don’t ever feel sexy, nobody has ever made me feel attractive. I know I’m not super mega attractive but I know I’m not ugly.

Every now and again, I’ll get an occasional “you have such a gorgeous smile!” Yeah, I know. Thanks. 

I want a guy to look at me and for me to feel he wants to rip off my clothes. Obviously not all of the time, but every now and again…at least. Is that for real? Or is that something that’s just in books I read or movies I watch?

Maybe I need to learn how to feel sexy before I expect somebody else to find me sexy. I don’t know how exactly I can do that. I’ll do some research.

17 Comments »

dreaded questions

Obviously when you’re getting to know somebody…you ask many questions. Sometimes you don’t really know what to ask or say and you end up asking something ridiculous. Here’s a list of questions I absolutely despise:

1. What do you look for in a guy? Okay, so I understand the meaning behind this question but I really don’t know how to answer it. Sometimes I just want to say: “I don’t know, somebody decent enough to be in a relationship.” I don’t want to sit there and list all of the things I’m looking for in a guy. I also have a short little paragraph written in my profile about some things I’m looking for.

2. When was the last time you were in a relationship? Honestly, why does that even matter? I’m sure it’s because you want to see if I’m not over an ex or something. But it’s super awkward answering that question. Why? Because I’ve never really had a long term relationship. I’ve had very short relationships (and not many at that). Does that make me weird? I don’t know. I had a guy ask me that and then later referred back to me never being in a relationship as if I was some kind of freak.

3. What do you do for fun? I know I wrote about this in my last post. This one is awkward for me because I do all sorts of random things. I do whatever comes up.

4. Why are you single? Now, this is by far my LEAST favorite question. I hate it. This question is usually following some sort of compliment: “Wow, you’re so awesome. Why are you single?” Listen dude, if I knew WHY I was single, I wouldn’t be single! Are you expecting me to say some crazy ass reason? Like…”Oh I’m actually a psychopath and I enjoy killing small animals.” (This isn’t true just FYI). Why does there have to be a reason, anyways? I’m single and that’s that. Get off my case.

I’d love to hear what other questions you all don’t like being ask! I’m sure I’m missing quite a few.

7 Comments »

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