thirty-somethings

life in all its glory

The X-Factor

Y’all remember Mr. I? If not, here’s a very depressing post about our break up: click here. Well, we never completely lost touch. Every now and again, he would message me on facebook and we’d engage in small talk. Never anything too crazy. There might have been one time (a couple years ago) where we talked about giving it another shot, but we didn’t do anything with it.

Fast forward to about a month ago, we were both back on OkCupid. He visited my profile – I messaged him joking around about him visiting me. A week later, I visited his profile. He messaged me. Then our conversation became a bit more serious. He told me he missed me. He asked if I’d consider giving us another chance. I said, I’d be willing to if we both made changes because we both contributed to the break up. He agreed and asked me out to dinner. At dinner, he made so many promises. About how I was his other half, and how he missed me so much. That he now knows that he should’ve put in more effort and he doesn’t want to mess it up this time. That he was “all in.” I ate it all up. I believed it all. I was cautiously optimistic but was all in too. About a week later, he asked me to be his girlfriend again. I loved it. He really was putting in more effort. I believed we were moving in the right direction.

But that all went to shit a couple weeks in. The effort slowly dissipated. I would go the entire day without hearing from him. Finally after a few days of barely hearing from him, I finally called him out. Then he became frustrated with me saying “I told you in the beginning that I was busy.” Nobody is that busy that they can’t send a quick message. Barely heard from him after that. I tried my best telling him that I support him and all that he does. He basically told me he wasn’t going to change for “anything or anybody.” Well, his true colors came to light. At least I saw it a month into the relationship and not a couple years in.

So that’s that. He came and went. I feel used. My ego is bruised. I know it’s for the best. Ex’s are ex’s for a reason, right? I should’ve known better.

The silver lining(s): I had been so desperate to date that I’d say I’d take anybody but I now see that I deserve to be treated with respect. Since it had been so long since I last dated, I felt really awkward about the whole thing. Now I’m ready. I’m ready to really try. I’m back on OkCupid and putting in effort. May the odds be ever in my favor.

To new beginnings. Cheers!

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break time

so it seems as though Mr. “Incredible” wants to take a break from our relationship. Why, you ask? Well, because he wants to be able to focus on his work more. Cop-out? Yes, I think so. Only because I asked him if him losing focus on his work was because of me and he said no. So why does he need to take a break from me then? He says it’ll be good for us. I corrected him and said, no…don’t include me in that equation…if you’re the one that wants a break then say it’s good for YOU not US. 

I’m so incredibly frustrated and hurt that I can’t even begin to describe all of my thoughts. 

I know in my last post I mentioned that my next post was going to be about not being in the honeymoon phase anymore. It’s been some time now that Mr. “Incredible” and I have been having our disagreements. He sees them as arguments, I totally don’t. He’s just unable to have any sort of serious conversation because he feels like we’re fighting. Annoying? Yes. 

For quite some time now, I’ve been feeling that maybe my feelings for him were stronger than the feelings he has for me. I totally believe that’s a recipe for disaster. To me that basically means, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. Him? Not so much, obviously…since he’s the one that wants to take a break. 

A part of me wants to break it off because why would I want to be with somebody that wants to take a break? He couldn’t even answer the question “Do I make you happy?” Talk about a slap in the face, huh? He said he didn’t know but I told him it’s a simple answer. Apparently, he disagrees. 

I tried getting more clarification as to what “taking a break” means, I mean…we’ve all seen that Friends episode where Ross and Rachel take a break and he hooks up with somebody and she gets upset. He just kept saying he didn’t know what he wanted. WHAT THE FUCK! talk about frustrating. 

I know not all breaks lead to break ups but, I think it’s heading in that direction. 

He said he was going to call me “later.” Whatever the fuck that means. 

I’m could be writing this prematurely…as I’m basically writing this out of anger. 

3 Comments »

Breaking Records

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve never really been in a serious relationship. The longest relationship I’ve ever been in has been about two months. Mr. Incredible and I are approaching our 4 month mark. I’m not gonna lie…it freaks me out. I’m a happy and positive person but for some reason I have this fear that I’m going to mess something up.

I try my best to be the best girlfriend I can be so I know there’s nothing more I could do to try and make him happy but I can’t help to have a lingering thought that I may or may not mess it up. I think that may be my OCD talking. I like to have things planned out but I can’t do that in my relationship (at least not at this point).

I don’t know at what point I’ll stop thinking that way but I hope it’s soon.

I guess that’s it for now.

6 Comments »

Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to all you daddy’s out there. You’re all awesome!

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned the fact that Mr. Incredible has a daughter or not. But…he does. He’s an awesome dad. Just hearing him talk to his daughter melts my heart because its so damn adorable.

Anyways…the point of my blog today is…am I supposed to buy him a gift? I mean, he’s a dad. He’s my boyfriend. No, we don’t have a kid together but that doesn’t take away the fact that he deserves presents on Father’s Day.

We were at the mall looking for a gift for my dad and while looking around, I jokingly asked “what’s the protocol on this Father’s Day ordeal? Am I supposed to get you something, too?” We laughed. Because let’s face it…neither him nor I have been in this situation so we have NO idea! He said he didn’t know. I told him I’d get him a little something. I ended up getting him a shirt (which he chose) I didn’t make the present itself a big deal. I didn’t even wrap it. He seemed to really like the fact that I did something. He really does deserve it.

Did I do the right thing? I hope so! Should I have made it a bigger deal? Well, It’s already done and over with at this point. But, I’d like to hear your thoughts. What would you have done in my situation? Have you been in this situation as well?!? I’d love to hear your stories!

4 Comments »

My goal

I saw somebody post this on Facebook and I loved it! It’s what I’ll always strive to be like.

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2 Comments »

mr. incredible

Well, I think I’ve made you all wait long enough. It’s time I write about my current guy. I originally met him nearly two years ago. The first time we met, we went out a couple of times then he disappeared. Then a few months later be hit me back up and we started seeing each other again for a couple of months…soon after, he disappeared. The first time he disappeared because he got sick and we had just started seeing each other so he didn’t want to burden me with anything. The second time…it’s because he was so obsessed with work he couldn’t really handle a relationship. After he lost his job a few months ago, he had a bit of a life changing experience. He reevaluated his priorities and has come to the realization that everything doesn’t need to revolve around work.

After that second time (which was around December of 2011) I obviously wasn’t going to make any effort. Last week, I get a message from him on okc. I responded of course. It’s been wonderful ever since.

We hung out on my birthday last Friday and he told me about all his feelings for me. It was quite intense but I loved every minute of it. He made it very clear that he wants to be with me and won’t be disappearing on me. He’s here to stay this time around.

He’s so attentive, he’s always telling me how beautiful I am. When we’re together he makes it a point to always touch me whether its my leg when we’re sitting or holding my hand or putting his hand on my back. He also makes it known that he wants to see me.

I’m a pretty high strung person. I get anxiety over stupid shit and my OCD kicks in pretty often but when I’m with him…he calms me and it’s such an incredible feeling.

I had really strong feelings for him when we were seeing each other last time and as soon as I saw him again those feelings rushed back as if he never left.

Yes, he doesn’t have a great track record but I don’t care. I’m not going to live in fear that something bad may happen. He apologized for all that happened and said he wasn’t going to leave again. As of right now, I believe it. I’m going to go along with it and see where this path leads me. I’m looking forward to every minute of it.

18 Comments »

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