thirty-somethings

life in all its glory

And so it goes on….

Ms. Big booty pretty much gave up immediately. Ms. Pearly whites has basically struck gold. She met an awesome guy, has gone on two dates and has another one in the works. 

And me? Nothing, of course. I’ve sparked up conversation with a few guys but they just fizzle out. 

At what point do I give up on the whole online thing? At what point do I just let it go? 

10 Comments »

the online data saga continues

So, I have these two awesome coworkers and we’re all single, independent, successful, intelligent women. We all range in age. I’m 30, Ms. Big Booty is 38 and Ms. Pearly Whites is 25.

I’m the only one that has done the whole online dating thing. It’s been probably about a year or so that I disabled my OkCupid account. We all decided that we’re gonna do it together. I may try a couple new sites, I haven’t fully decided which one I’m going to use.

Anyways, I’m pretty excited that we’re going to do this together and I can’t wait to tell all of you about our experiences.

Hope this new year is off to a wonderful start for all of you!

2 Comments »

Mr. Memory Lane

So, I’d like to talk about Mr. Memory Lane. A little while ago, I got a message from a guy I went to high school with on facebook. I had a crush on him back in the day and a few years ago attempted to reconnect with him by inviting him to a party I had at my house but nothing happened. Anyways, Mr. Memory Lane messaged me and we made small talk for a little while then asked if I wanted to grab dinner or drinks some time. At first, I thought it was a friendly invite trying to reconnect from somebody from high school. Remember my post about being a bad flirt? I’m pretty oblivious sometimes.

So, we talked for a couple weeks, texting, phone calls and it was glorious! He made me laugh and I finally was looking forward to going on a date with somebody. He’s cute, funny, hard working amongst other things. But yes, I was really looking forward to the idea of possibly dating somebody again.

We had a difficult time setting a day for us to meet because our schedules were a little off. Finally, I invited him to come meet with a couple girl friends of mine (they left pretty much as soon as he got there) and we just hung out for a little while. It was nice. We had a nice conversation and I really enjoyed myself. I couldn’t quite put my finger on how possibly felt.

Then about a day or so later, he stopped texting me. Just like that. Done.

Was he not attracted to me? Did he think I was weird? Did he think I was ugly? Or fat?? I mean, what the hell is it? It’s hard not to take stuff like this personally.

I think I may be at a point where I’m thinking something is wrong with me.

9 Comments »

life goes on….

Hello all!

It’s been quite some time since I’ve posted something. I’d really like to start blogging again. It was incredibly therapeutic for me. Here’s a little bit of an update: I turned 30 (I should probably change the name of my blog), I graduated with my Master in Social Work, and the most unfortunate update of all is that I’m still single.

Graduate school did a really good job in masking how much it sucks being single. I was so busy, I barely had time to breathe. Now that it’s all done,now I only have work. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life. I love my job, I love my family and friends, I’m financially stable for the first time in my life, I’m moving out of my parents within the next couple of months. I mean, overall things are great! BUT…it would be so nice to share it all with somebody else.

Anyways, just thought I’d start somewhere. Here’s an update. Let’s hope it doesn’t take ma few months to post again!

Leave a comment »

that awkward moment when….

….you make the very sad realization that you’re practically the only single friend and family member.

It’s sad. It’s depressing. It’s so incredibly frustrating.

8 Comments »

level of excitement: through the roof!

My last two posts have been a little bit of a downer, huh? Well, get ready for some good news!!

I’ve been talking to a new guy. Nickname? Umm…how about. Mr. Sociable? We exchanged a few messages first, we’ve been texting for a few days now and we’ve had long/awesome late night conversations. He’s been very consistent (finally!!). He’s so nice. He’s ambitious and hard-working. He’s so sweet and compliments me all the time. He’s called me beautiful more times than Mr. I did in our entire relationship. He’s very good for my ego LOL.

Yesterday, he asked me out for a date. We’re going out this coming Saturday. We’re going out on a real date. I can’t even remember the last time this happened. We’re not just going to “hang out.” I mean, this is big!!

Anyways, this is the first time I’ve legitimately been excited about somebody since Mr. I.

I’m super stoked and I can’t waitttt to meet him!

3 Comments »

inconsistency

I don’t know if this is just a guy thing or what…but…what is it with them being inconsistent?!? Do they think it’s okay to just disappear for a week or maybe two? There’s this guy I was texting…I haven’t heard from him in 8 days (I only know this from the time stamps on our texts). After a couple texts he has the NERVE to ask me for a picture. WHAT.THE.FUCK! I say “I haven’t heard from you in a week and then you ask for my picture?!” His response? “lol yes” WOW!! What in his mind makes that an okay thing to do?

There’s this other guy that I’ve been messaging back and forth on OkC and it’s been a little over a month. Of occasional messages that really have no meaning behind them. Just small talk “oh hows your day?” “it’s going well, just at work right now…” blah-di-blah.

I mean, why don’t these guys put some real effort in getting to know me?! I’m trying not to take it personally. I’m trying not to think “oh it must be me they don’t want to get to know” or “i’m not worthy enough for guys to get to know” but it’s getting really hard.

I know I have to be patient. The right guy will make the effort but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t suck in the meantime.

7 Comments »

flirting…or lack there of…

how-i-think-i-look-when-im-flirting-how-i-actually-look

I can’t remember if I have written a post about my lack of flirting skills. I was too lazy to check, so here I am.

I suck at flirting. It’s one of those things I didn’t pick up on. Don’t get me wrong…I’m a very social person, I get along really well with others, and I can carry on a normal conversation with others. So what is it about flirting that makes me act like a socially awkward person?!? I have no idea. For example, this messaged me on OkC just the other day saying I have an adorable smile. My response back to him?? “You have some pretty cute dogs!!” I tried to save it by later saying something about him being good looking. He handled it well and said among the lines of they get it from him.

Bad Flirting

Is there a way I can learn how to flirt? I’m nearing thirty…does that mean I’m a lost cause?

There’s another funny story: (I’ve told this to a few of my friends, so if y’all are reading this…sorry!)

I go to staples (which is my favorite store…I have a freakish obsession with office supplies) and as I leave the store there’s a cute guy just a few feet in front of me leaving the store as well. Both of our cars are parked on the right side of the lot but in order for it not to be awkward, I move over to the left side so I’m not directly behind him. I soon realized that was a bad idea because I had to get to my car…I slowly moved back over to the right side. Only to my disbelief the cute guy is parked NEXT TO ME! EEEK! So, as I kinda get behind him again…he says in a jokingly/flirty way…”oh are you following me?!” And my response?? First, I make an weirdddd noise…followed by…”uhhhhh…sorrryyyyy….” all while hurrying to get to my car.

I sat in the car for a minute thinking: OUT OF ALL THE THINGS I COULD’VE SAID?! I SAID SORRY!?!??!? Ugh. I really gotta step up my flirting game.

Anyways, that’s that. One day some guy will learn to appreciate my social awkwardness.

there are so many good memes on bad flirting!

there are so many good memes on bad flirting!

5 Comments »

Friends

I’m really trying to understand why some people would use a dating site to find friends. A couple of weeks ago I was messaging a guy that kept referring to me as friend. He would say things like “oh hey, friend” or “how’s it going, friend.” This wasn’t the first time it happened….so I asked my BFF is she ever had anybody say the same thing to her. She said no and asked what his looking for section said. I hadn’t even thought about it! When I looked it said looking for new friends.

I know some people aren’t as lucky as I am. I am very lucky to be surrounded with many amazing friends. Both female and male. I’m just really trying to understand why go on a dating website to find friends? Am I the only one that thinks it’s weird?? Let’s go ahead and rule out people who are new to the area. They’re the exception. I understand them trying to meet new people.

I mean my BFF just had some guy text her saying how awesome, beautiful and fun she is but that he can’t date right now and he’d like to be friends. REALLY?!? Just fuck off.

I can’t even begin to wrap my head around it.

Ugh. I’m very frustrated with the online dating scene right now. I have a lot more to say but I’ll save it for another post.

6 Comments »

first date jitters and let downs

Well hello everyone! It has been a very long time since I’ve updated my blog. I keep putting it off but here I am finally. So..a few months ago I decided I was ready to try the whole online dating scene again. Apprehensive but willing to give it a shot. In March, I began talking to this one guy. We really hit it off and I really enjoyed talking to him. He was a first timer and I was the first girl to message him. We talked for way too long. We exchanged messages for about 6 weeks. He worked graveyard and I was still at school at the time so our schedules were conflicting. Finally we made the effort to meet each other (by this time…it was already the end of April). About a couple hours before our date, I had a full blown panic attack. I started freaking out and I called my best friend (bless her heart). She asked why I was freaking out and I told her that I really liked him and I was scared that he wasn’t going to like me once he met me. That not only was I not ready for rejection but I wasn’t strong enough for it. Anyways, she talked me down from my lil freak out session. I ended up telling him I wanted to do something more low key instead. He was totally understanding…we went to dessert instead of dinner. 

Y’all remember that I’m into tall guys?? Well, I decided to give this guy a shot being that he was 5’9″. At least that’s what he said he was. Anyways, we met up and the dude was MY height! I’m barely 5’5″. PLUS….he was at LEAST 50 lbs heavier than what his pictures portrayed. It’s not even that he was shorter and heavier that was upsetting. It was the fact that he lied. Aside from the physical stuff, he kept talking about how his family went through “the accident” that happened like 10 years ago. The way he talked about it was as if it happened 6 months ago. I’m not an insensitive person…but there comes a time where you just gotta get over things. And being that I’m going into the social work field, it’s really important that I’m with somebody that’s emotionally stable and has their shit together. This guy wasn’t it. And then on top of it…he talked about these cock fights he goes to when he goes to Mexico in gruesome details. I don’t know about y’all but I’m not into that animal cruelty thing. It’s not cool and it’s definitely not something that you should talk about on a first date. 

He also didn’t hold the door open for me and didn’t walk me to my car. I guess chivalry is dead folks.  I’m waiting for somebody to prove that wrong. 

Before going on my date, my bff told me “you need give yourself the chance to turn somebody down.” She was right. I was able to turn him down. I felt bad for the guy because it was his first date in 2 years but…I didn’t feel a connection and he was not upfront and honest. 

Anywho, that’s it for now y’all. Let’s hope I can keep up with my blog. I also think I’m gonna bring back the “WTF moment of the week” 

Stay tuned. Thanks for reading ❤ 

 

7 Comments »

The Last Single Friend

A Girl's Misadventures in the Game of Love

Mattitude. "Matt's Entertainment"

Just stuff I see, experience and share

The Dating Diaries

TOO MANY WOMEN THROW THEMSELVES INTO ROMANCE BECAUSE THEY’RE AFRAID OF BEING SINGLE, THEN START MAKING COMPROMISES AND LOSING THEIR IDENTITY. WE REFUSE DO THAT

No ((Body Shame)) Campaign

"The secret of how to live without resentment or embarrassment in a world in which I was different from everyone else was to be indifferent to that difference." -Al Capp

Mind's Seat

Set your mind on the things above

Single Chicks Blog

About a Decade of Dating Advice Headed Your Way

Interracial Dating Sites Reviews

Interracial Dating Sites Reviews, Interracial Match Reviews

juliansherman.net/

Building A Business While Having A Life

Book Hub, Inc.

The Total Book Experience

The Happsters

Spread Positive Vibes. Give Love. Be Happy.

On the Train to Hogwarts

I Finally Got my Letter

HeartSphere

Conversations with the Heartmind

The Bitch Desk

Like the Help Desk only bitchier

John P. Gavin - Author @ JoLo Press Int'l.

I wrote the book Romeo's Dilemma - I also used to be a weekly columnist for a San Francisco Bay Area newspaper - the essays you see below are from that column - mostly...

Ellie More Or Less

Just another blog about weight loss

the fishbowl

ramblings of a nerdy art fag

mishisms

live, learn, laugh. repeat.

Countdown to 60

Aging on my terms - Daily musings in 500 words or less

The Great Sexcapade

Men, sex, relationships, and online dating

My Clutter Box

A Peek Inside One Girl's Head

theadventuresoftransman

Just another middle-aged guy raising a family ... except I gave birth to mine

Another Single Woman's Blog

Tales and thoughts of Dating with the challenge of kids and work.

Unconfirmed Bachelorette

Proudly living alone with cats

Top 10 of Anything and Everything!!!

Animals, Gift Ideas, Travel, Books, Recycling Ideas and Many, Many More

Black Book Confessions

Dating, sex and the single life

thelovemanifesto

Real. Life. Experienced.

Can I Get Ur Number?

Answering the question "Why Am I Single?" one post at a time...

Not Guilty By Reason Of Menopause

I'm Still Hot, It Just Comes in Flashes!

Goodwill Hoarding

We're not hoarding, we're collecting!

Fear Not. Come What May.

This blog is about embracing the fortunes and misfortunes that occur in the time we are dealt. I hope you enjoy the quirks, insights, and even some word vomit from this life I am blessed to be living.

Dating Is Hard

Stumbling Through The Adventures And Misadventures Of Dating With God's Grace

Twenty-Something; Young, & Drunk

A Drunk Girls Guide to Online Dating

Dating with Kate

The ups and downs of the dating world

Successful Online Dating

A fine WordPress.com site

How often do you masterdate?

... for those still reluctantly hopeful they'll find their "one."

missmatch42

A fine WordPress.com site

Everybody Wants Some

Working out my Van Halen on a (semi) daily basis.

herfinemess.org/

Her Fine Mess

redhead421's Blog

Midwest single girl discusses dating, food, working out, and more food.

deconstructeddatingproject

Two friends. Three months. Twelves dates. Ready, go.

Free My Thoughts

A 23 Year Girl Trying To Get Through Life's 'Challenges'...

countingducks

reflections on a passing life

imstilllsingle.wordpress.com/

Time for my own damn dating site!

The Dating Diaries

because single life can be an interesting time

beautifuldarkmystery

my stories, my opinions, my advice, my life.