thirty-somethings

life in all its glory

awkward questions…

I went to a social gathering this past weekend with a lot of high school friends I hadn’t seen in a while. I generally have no problem with small talk. I just can’t stand questions about me being single. There’s always that one questions “So are you seeing anybody?” And when I say no, obviously it opens up all sorts of follow up questions/comments:

  • Oh, it’s okay! You’ll find somebody
  • Being single is better anyways, you can do whatever you want
  • So you aren’t looking for anything right now?
  • So there isn’t anybody you’re interested in??

And much, much more.

Yes, of course I’m looking. I guess nobody is interested in me. People need to stop. Not one thing is “better” than the other.

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milestones

So, I made a decision that I was not going to buy a scale for myself at home because I know I’ll become obsessed with weighing myself. I didn’t want to do that to myself. I figured I’m going to be seeing a doctor regularly, so I’ll go based off of those numbers.

Today was one of those days. I had a doctors appointment today and I am so excited to say that I’ve officially lost 50 lbs! I mean, WHAT? I can barely wrap my heard around it. It’s a pretty drastic change, clothes aren’t fitting anymore. There are things that I didn’t even picture happening, my rings no longer fitting right, my glasses not fitting cause my gigantic cheeks don’t fit them and even my shoes fit a little better. These are all great problems to have, I can totally see that.

50 lbs, y’all. I can’t believe it.

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post-bariatric surgery life

The surgery happened and sometimes I can not believe that I went through with it. Even though I was totally prepared mentally, physically and emotionally to have the surgery…there was a part of me that felt that I might be change my mind last minute.

It happened. It has been a little over three weeks and I am SOOOOO happy I did. It has already changed my life in so many positive ways. There has been a huge adjustment, obviously. Food intake is clearly the first one. But there’s also the emotional side of it too. I got fat for multiple reasons but one major one is because I used food as a coping mechanism. Angry? Eat. Sad? Eat. Frustrated? Eat. Happy? Eat. I also quit smoking about a year and a half ago, so I don’t have that to cope either. I’m learning. It’s a work in progress.

As discussed in my previous post. This has been a long time coming. I had to take an extensive prep course before being approved for the surgery. Since starting the prep course and now having the surgery, I have lost a total of 43 pounds. That number blows my mind.  I have a loooooong way to go but at least I am on the right path. I haven’t been back to work since having my surgery. I go back on Monday. I’m excited and nervous but mostly excited! Then I feel like this new chapter of my life will really start.

That’s it for now. Stay tuned.

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Cliches

So, I know the biggest cliche is for people to say “New Year, New Me.” I always try to steer clear from those types of cliche’s but….I feel that this year, that saying is particularly accurate.

There have been quite a few things that have happened but I can most definitely this year has started with a bang! No, I’m not seeing anybody. Still single. That’s likely not going to be changing anytime soon. I’ve come to that conclusion.

But other exciting things are happening! I am having bariatric surgery. Specifically the gastric sleeve. Don’t know what that is? Click here, to learn more. My weight has gotten out of control, I’ve done diets, I’ve taken weight loss pills, I feel this is my last resort. My insurance has a pretty extensive prep course for it. We meet weekly for three months, 1.5 hour classes. We have to get approved by the dietician (having lost weight during the three month class), the chief of bariatric surgery and finally the surgeon who will be doing the surgery. So, anyways, I’ve finished the process and I’ve been officially approved for the surgery! It’s a very exciting time for me. Most of my friends have been pretty supportive. My parents are being supportive in their own way but I’m appreciative.

That’s it for now. Looking forward to this year and what it has to offer. Going into it, open minded and with an open heart.

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frustration

It’s been approximately one month since I’ve signed up with Eharmony and nothing has come of it. Yeah, a few messages here and there but…NOTHING. I’m even attempting to initiate conversation. That hasn’t been successful either. I’m really trying to stay positive but I’m having more and more difficulty.

There was a millisecond where I got really excited about a guy on OkCupid. Seemed like our conversation was going really well. We event tentatively set a date for next week. THEN….he wanted to exchange instagram accounts. I’ve written a post about social media before. I’m not a fan of sharing these things early on when talking to somebody. My social media pages, especially IG show my personality and what my life is all about. Anyways, what felt like immediately the conversation slowed and I haven’t really heard from him all day. What does that mean? Does that mean he didn’t like what he saw?  I’m so tired of all this. Could he eventually message me and say “oh crap. i’ve had such a long day. sorry i didn’t reach out.” yeah. Maybe. but let’s be real…it’s probably not going to happen.

 

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new beginnings

So many things have been happening. Nothing in the relationship department but everything else could not be better!

I’m transferring to a new location for work (in Los Angeles). I’m finally going to have a “regular job.” At my current job, I work nights and weekends. It makes it pretty difficult to have a social life. I’m going to have a glorious schedule: Monday-Friday 8am-5pm. I can’t wait! I start on Monday. Not only am I starting a new job, but I finally moved out of my parents and into a new place!! I’m living 2.7 miles away. In LA, that’s amazing! No long commute, another time saver.

My co-worker (Ms. Pearly Whites) moved into together. It’s the best decision we’ve made. She’s the best roommate. Also, if you’re wondering…Ms. Pearly Whites is now in a relationship! Remember that guy she hit it off with, well….clearly it went in the right direction. She’s in a relationship with him now. I’m so happy for her!

Lastly, as a last ditch effort, I signed up for Eharmony. This is pretty much the last website left for me to try. I signed up for a six month plan. I’m going to give it my all, and if nothing comes of it, I’m going to quit the online dating scene. I’ve been doing it for too long and I just don’t want to continue it anymore. I hadn’t tried it in the past because I felt it was too expensive but they had a deal going on. I signed up and i’s been an interesting experience so far. For those of you that have not tried it, let me give you the run down. You can’t message somebody a normal message..as in “Hey, how’s it going?” There’s a process. First, you send each other “quick questions” and you go through two rounds of that. Secondly, you have “makes and breaks,” you have to provide ten each. After you’re done with that, it’ll show you both of your answers to see where you have similar answers. Next, you have “dig deeper” questions. You ask three questions that require longer/thought out answers. – this is how far I’ve gotten in the process. I believe the next part is a regular message where it’s an open discussion.

I’m still dabbling in OkCupid. I’m hoping with those two combined as well as moving to a new area, some magic will happen!

I’m looking forward to this new adventure I’m embarking on. New job, new apartment, new online dating sites. Here’s to new beginnings!

 

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And so it goes on….

Ms. Big booty pretty much gave up immediately. Ms. Pearly whites has basically struck gold. She met an awesome guy, has gone on two dates and has another one in the works. 

And me? Nothing, of course. I’ve sparked up conversation with a few guys but they just fizzle out. 

At what point do I give up on the whole online thing? At what point do I just let it go? 

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the online data saga continues

So, I have these two awesome coworkers and we’re all single, independent, successful, intelligent women. We all range in age. I’m 30, Ms. Big Booty is 38 and Ms. Pearly Whites is 25.

I’m the only one that has done the whole online dating thing. It’s been probably about a year or so that I disabled my OkCupid account. We all decided that we’re gonna do it together. I may try a couple new sites, I haven’t fully decided which one I’m going to use.

Anyways, I’m pretty excited that we’re going to do this together and I can’t wait to tell all of you about our experiences.

Hope this new year is off to a wonderful start for all of you!

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Mr. Memory Lane

So, I’d like to talk about Mr. Memory Lane. A little while ago, I got a message from a guy I went to high school with on facebook. I had a crush on him back in the day and a few years ago attempted to reconnect with him by inviting him to a party I had at my house but nothing happened. Anyways, Mr. Memory Lane messaged me and we made small talk for a little while then asked if I wanted to grab dinner or drinks some time. At first, I thought it was a friendly invite trying to reconnect from somebody from high school. Remember my post about being a bad flirt? I’m pretty oblivious sometimes.

So, we talked for a couple weeks, texting, phone calls and it was glorious! He made me laugh and I finally was looking forward to going on a date with somebody. He’s cute, funny, hard working amongst other things. But yes, I was really looking forward to the idea of possibly dating somebody again.

We had a difficult time setting a day for us to meet because our schedules were a little off. Finally, I invited him to come meet with a couple girl friends of mine (they left pretty much as soon as he got there) and we just hung out for a little while. It was nice. We had a nice conversation and I really enjoyed myself. I couldn’t quite put my finger on how possibly felt.

Then about a day or so later, he stopped texting me. Just like that. Done.

Was he not attracted to me? Did he think I was weird? Did he think I was ugly? Or fat?? I mean, what the hell is it? It’s hard not to take stuff like this personally.

I think I may be at a point where I’m thinking something is wrong with me.

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life goes on….

Hello all!

It’s been quite some time since I’ve posted something. I’d really like to start blogging again. It was incredibly therapeutic for me. Here’s a little bit of an update: I turned 30 (I should probably change the name of my blog), I graduated with my Master in Social Work, and the most unfortunate update of all is that I’m still single.

Graduate school did a really good job in masking how much it sucks being single. I was so busy, I barely had time to breathe. Now that it’s all done,now I only have work. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life. I love my job, I love my family and friends, I’m financially stable for the first time in my life, I’m moving out of my parents within the next couple of months. I mean, overall things are great! BUT…it would be so nice to share it all with somebody else.

Anyways, just thought I’d start somewhere. Here’s an update. Let’s hope it doesn’t take ma few months to post again!

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