thirty-somethings

life in all its glory

Mr. Calm and Collected – part 3

on January 16, 2013

First date went well with Mr. CC, I think. I still like him! I think he’s just as attractive as his photos. I thought him being 5’8″ was going to bother me…but it didn’t! Surprise, surprise. This just goes to show that I should really be open minded.

He’s super nice. He’s polite. He’s funny. He continues to be calm and collected. Random: I realized that he remembered my birthday! I told him about a week ago and he remembered! Crazy. I didn’t remember his. Clearly, I’m an asshole. Jk. Or not?

There was a bit of an awkward moment when an overly obnoxious lovey-dovey couple sat next to our table. They barely ate their food and kept making out. I hope I never become like that. It’s gross. Get a room people! Luckily, it didn’t last long. They left relatively soon after sitting down.

The date ended with a hug. I would’ve totally kissed him though. Not a full on make out session (there were way too many people around) but for sure a peck or something.

Anyways, I still can’t tell if he’s into me. I’m assuming if I can’t tell…then he isn’t? Maybe he doesn’t even know. Maybe he’s still trying to get to know me and figure it out? Or maybe he isn’t and I’m making excuses.

What am I supposed to do now? Do I initiate conversation with him if he doesn’t? Or do I just wait? How long should I wait? I don’t know what the “rules” are anymore. Or even if there are any. Questions are still zooming through my head.

Help?

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36 responses to “Mr. Calm and Collected – part 3

  1. I would send him a quick messgae/text that stated you had a good time. Sounds like it went good! That’s awesome!

    • dsantos85 says:

      Sent him a quick thank you text this morning! Saying thanks and that I had a good time with him. It seemed to open up convo today, we’ll see how it goes! πŸ˜€

  2. friendflirt says:

    Have you sent a “thank you” text yet? If not, do it now. Something like “hey I had a really good time. Glad we met up. Lets do it again sometime soon! Maybe on ____?”

    That’ll show that you’re interested and open the door. πŸ™‚

    • dsantos85 says:

      I sent him a text this morning saying thanks for last night and that I had a great time. I was the one who initiated us meeting the first time so I don’t know if I should be the one that plans our second date. I’d really like him to take initiative. I’d love to hear your opinion about that! πŸ˜€

      • friendflirt says:

        If you really want him to take initiative, then wait a day for two, but I’m thinking that he’s not going to (but hey, he may surprise me!). If you really want to hang out with him again, then invite him out. πŸ™‚

      • dsantos85 says:

        I already messaged him so waiting for him to take the initiative on that is out of the question! LOL. But I’d rather wait a few days to see if he brings up us meeting up again. πŸ™‚

  3. Ashley Delgado says:

    RELAX! There are only rules if you make it a game. Do whatever feels right and you’re comfortable with. Even do what you’re not comfortable with. You call/text first. We put so much pressure on guys to be ‘perefect’. If you’re freaking out imagine how he feels. Also, if he didn’t like you you wouldn’t be hearing from him. Relax and enjoy it!

    • dsantos85 says:

      I partially agree! LOL. I think I put more pressure on myself than anybody else to be perfect only because I don’t want to mess anything up. I don’t want to be the reason why it didn’t work out.

      I texted him this morning and we’ve been talking ever since. Turns out it was his first time meeting somebody from the internet which makes sense as to why he was hesitant.

      I think my general rule of thumb is going to be: if he isn’t interested, he wouldn’t be talking to you. So if he continues talking, that’s gotta be something! Right? hahaha

      • Kat says:

        Completely agree with Ashley on this one. “Do whatever feels right and you’re comfortable with.” It’s always good to step out of your comfort zone (like when you initiated the 1st meet), but always be yourself. That way you both will know right away if there’s a sincere connection. Don’t worry about “messing anything up”. Just be true to yourself; the right guy will love you for you.

        And I agree with the general rule of thumb. I still forget this sometimes haha. -_-

  4. Audrey says:

    This is going to sound crazy, but there’s this book, Manslations by Jeff Mac, and he says that a guy will let you know how a date went with a week. Mac’s book is by far a hit, and his writing is highly entertaining, yet honest and informative.

    • dsantos85 says:

      i’m going to buy it!!!! LOL

      • Audrey says:

        I swear it’s the best man-decorder book. Ever written. Kindle…it’s around 8 bucks.

      • dsantos85 says:

        Already looked it up on amazon! I don’t have a kindle but I’m definitely looking into buying one.

        Only 11 bucks paperback. Not bad.

      • Audrey says:

        Ooh. Excellent! Most of my friends think I’m crazy for owning it. I hope he calls you soon! The date sounds like it went pretty well! He sure sounds like a promisingly good guy.

      • dsantos85 says:

        i’ve always been pretty against them! hahah. BUT, it’s much easier to carry around and books are cheaper!

        Turns out this was Mr. CC’s first time meeting somebody offline. So now it totally makes sense as to why he was so hesitant to meeting. We’ve been texting a bit today. It was super cute cause he told me he was nervous last night hehehe. So we’ll see how it goes. Trying not to get too excited but it definitely sounds promising πŸ™‚

      • Audrey says:

        Hahaa I know exactly what you mean. Ahhh it’s exciting! I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for you πŸ™‚

  5. impossibletodate says:

    So glad to hear that it went well. I would just wait and see if he contacts you however if I remember correctly you did say he was a little shy so maybe you should do the follow up. Just a simple “thanks for last night, I had a great time we should do it again sometime” if he is keen he will say yes let’s catch up and then you are onto the second date. He seems like a good catch. Good luck x

    • dsantos85 says:

      thanks! He definitely is a good catch. I sent him a quick “thanks for last night, i had a good time” text and we’ve exchanged a few other texts…..so we’ll see what happens next! πŸ˜€

  6. The two first comments say, “have you texted him and told him it’s a great date yet?” And when I read them, I was like, “Oh man, that’s something I should do?” I’m in a serious relationship now, but there seem to be so many protocols I didn’t know. I guess I’m lucky it seems like my boyfriend doesn’t know them either. Or maybe they’re not as important as we make them out to be?
    Anyway, I wanted to comment and tell you I hope things work out! Reading about your dating woes makes me feel giddy like I’m back at that time but also happy I’m in a relationship. But I guess everything has good and bad parts. πŸ™‚ Best of luck!

    • dsantos85 says:

      thanks so much! I’d really like to think that the protocols aren’t as important as we make them out to be. But you’re definitely lucky you don’t have to deal with all this crap LOL.

  7. Glad it went well- you already got great advice, so no need for me to add the same thing again πŸ™‚

  8. misswhiplash says:

    good idea to send a text to say how much you enjoyed the evening…then wait to see if he contacts you….don’t do the chasing!
    Thank you for visiting my blog…yours looks really interesting so I shall wait for the next exciting episode

  9. So, is your birthday Jan. 15? That’s mine! Wouldn’t that be funny!

  10. misswhiplash says:

    what no further episode! last one was two days ago….surely something must have happened?

    • dsantos85 says:

      unfortunately there isn’t much of an update! haha. seems as though talking has slowed down a bit. we’ve been busy with work this week. I’m hoping to have some sort of an update soon!

      • misswhiplash says:

        that’s good as its most distressing no knowing what is happening.My daughter had her first date this weekend and I am dying to know how? whe? and where?…I am such a nosey mother but its cos I love her so much that I want her to be happy.
        Is Mr C&C the first one that you have tried? Maybe you should look at others , just in case, then you won’t be centred on one person and also you have a better choice. Its like going shoppoing…you like to look around to see what’s on the shelf…the same with men….there could be a better model and then you’d have missed out!!!!

        I’m waiting……. lots of love P

      • dsantos85 says:

        you’re a mom, it’s completely normal to want to know all of the details! I hope everything went well for her!

        Mr. C&C isn’t the first man I’ve gone out with from online but he is the only person I’ve been talking to recently. So I think you’re right…I need to look around! I need somebody else to keep me occupied! hahaha

        Mr. C&C and I are going on a coffee date tomorrow, I’ll have another update soon! πŸ˜€

  11. I have my fingers (and toes) crossed for you! Also – I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award on my page.

  12. JustAnotherGuy says:

    Direct, honest communication is what you want, right? That’s what you need to give and the sooner the better.

  13. Be yourself. If that means bold, be it. If it means reserved, then reserve yourself. But be you.

  14. Dawn says:

    I find the best think is to just have no expectations. If you like him let him know. If he doesn’t like you back, then let it go. I have had dates that have gone extreamly well…great conversation, laughter great GREAT goodnight kiss…only to find out he really didn’t want to see me again. Um, really?
    People are weird. We put way to much into it. I’m trying to get myself back to a place where I don’t actually want a relationship. That way when things don’t work out, I’m not too upset.
    I agree with the poster that said, there are only rules if you make it a game. If you don’t hear from him, sending a quick message let’s him know it’s ok. If he doesn’t take the next step, move on.
    I want to have fun dating…time to get there!

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