thirty-somethings

life in all its glory

disappearing acts and my two-date curse

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I suppose it’s time for me to give an update on Mr. C&C. I’ve been postponing my update because I’m a little irritated by it. Whatever, it’s time to get it out. We ended up going out on a second “date.” We had coffee and we paid for our own drinks. Is that even considered a date? I guess. It went well though. No awkward silences, conversation flowed, and we laughed at each others jokes. However, I still felt he wasn’t into me.

The date ended in a hug. We texted a bit later on that night and he said he wanted to go out a third time. That was when I started getting a little excited. I thought maybe he actually was into me and I’d finally break my two date curse. We talked for another day or so but the ever-so-dreaded disappearing act happened (other online daters know exactly what I’m talking about). I had stopped messaging him as much as I had been and he stopped messaging me all together.

Why did he mention hanging out a third time if he had no intention of following through? Now I keep thinking about what I did wrong. What could I have done differently? We ran into one of my guy friends and I introduced Mr. C&C as my friend. It was an accident, it totally slipped but when I asked my friend if I should address it he said no. If it was an issue, I guess Mr. C&C wouldn’t have asked me out for a third time. Or maybe it was the fact that I stopped putting in the effort, but if he was legitimately interested, he would put in the effort. Right? I’m not a very flirty person….maybe I could have been more flirtatious.

I’m frustrated and feeling discouraged. I’m having one of those “I’m really tired of being single” moments. It doesn’t happen all the time but that feeling creeps up every so often. Go away icky feeling, you are no longer wanted.

26 Comments »

the results are in!

Remember I said I was going to keep track of the profiles I came across to figure out whether or not I was too picky? Well, I kept track of 100 profiles. It’s a mixture of men that contacted me and profiles I clicked on.

I guess if you look at the numbers, it may seem as though I am picky. But you know what? I don’t care anymore. I am AWESOME and I deserve to be with somebody that’s just as awesome as I am. There are many things that are important to me and I will not lower my standards for the sake of not being single.

Out of the 100 profiles I came across, I was interested in 27. I thought I’d make this legit and make some graphs.

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I tried to keep track of the reasons as to why I was uninterested.

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I don’t understand why some people just don’t put effort into their profiles. Simply saying “if you have any questions, just ask!” Ugh, so annoying. Another top reason is what I classified as “meh.” I know it doesn’t explain much but it means that there was nothing that stuck out to me and I was uninterested in them. Politically, I’m super liberal so being with somebody that’s conservative will not work for me. I’m deathly allergic to cats so being with somebody that has them is out of the question.

I’m not going to bore all of you and explain all of the reasons why I wasn’t interested in the men.

Does this mean I’m too picky? Maybe. Should I feel bad for it? Hell no.

15 Comments »

Mr. Calm and Collected – part 3

First date went well with Mr. CC, I think. I still like him! I think he’s just as attractive as his photos. I thought him being 5’8″ was going to bother me…but it didn’t! Surprise, surprise. This just goes to show that I should really be open minded.

He’s super nice. He’s polite. He’s funny. He continues to be calm and collected. Random: I realized that he remembered my birthday! I told him about a week ago and he remembered! Crazy. I didn’t remember his. Clearly, I’m an asshole. Jk. Or not?

There was a bit of an awkward moment when an overly obnoxious lovey-dovey couple sat next to our table. They barely ate their food and kept making out. I hope I never become like that. It’s gross. Get a room people! Luckily, it didn’t last long. They left relatively soon after sitting down.

The date ended with a hug. I would’ve totally kissed him though. Not a full on make out session (there were way too many people around) but for sure a peck or something.

Anyways, I still can’t tell if he’s into me. I’m assuming if I can’t tell…then he isn’t? Maybe he doesn’t even know. Maybe he’s still trying to get to know me and figure it out? Or maybe he isn’t and I’m making excuses.

What am I supposed to do now? Do I initiate conversation with him if he doesn’t? Or do I just wait? How long should I wait? I don’t know what the “rules” are anymore. Or even if there are any. Questions are still zooming through my head.

Help?

36 Comments »

do I dare?

I’ve been speaking to this pretty awesome guy for about 3 weeks. I’m going to nickname him Mr. Calm and Collected. He’s very poised, calm, proper, and all around fantastic! He has a good job, he’s good looking, family oriented, and other great stuff!

We’ve exchanged a lot of messages and even though we haven’t met yet, I have a major crush on him. Every time I get a message from him I feel like a little school girl because I get all giddy (ridiculous, I know).  We’ve briefly talked about us hanging out in the future but no plans have been made. I did tell him initially that I like taking my time getting to know a person so is he respecting that? I’m sure he is. How long is too long?

I’m beginning to get very anxious! I want to meet him already.

Which brings me to the point of my post…do I ask him out if he doesn’t do it? How long should I wait? I mean, he’s got to be interested if he’s invested so much time in getting to know me, right???

On one side, I’m very traditional in the sense that I feel a guy should be the one to initiate the asking out (I know I may get some uproar about this) but on the flip side I’m a feminist and I believe there shouldn’t be an expectation of one person like that.

I’d love to hear what you all think!

18 Comments »

yet another award….

The award this week is: DOUCHE BAG OF THE WEEK. In my very first post, I wrote about that guy that wanted to jump into a relationship after a couple of dates and how I shouldn’t have been so damn surprised about him being controlling and possessive. 

I’m the one that broke up with him because he was a little nuts. So anyways, I got a message from him on OkCupid. Him messaging me isn’t even the worst part…HE DIDN’T EVEN REMEMBER ME!

Our conversation was as follows (my commentary included):

Him: “good evening, hi how are you? I liked your profile very much and know we would get along great. we share allot in common and enough differences to make it fun. let’s take the time and get to know one another.”

Me: (I’m thinking this dude HASSSSSS to be playing some sort of joke on me, obviously I have to respond to make sure). “wow. is this a joke? or do you really not remember me?” 

Him: “I just moved back here from NY … did we meet?”

Me: (He must’ve moved there after him and I had our fling as it was just about a year ago) “yeah…about a year ago.”

Him: “Lol really no way. What happened?”

Me: (WOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!) “wow…lol. clearly i made a wonderful impression. just didn’t work out.”

Him: “Why didn’t it work out?”

At this point I don’t want to respond because clearly he’s a dipshit and it’s a waste of my time. After not responding for nearly 30 minutes, he says: 

Him: “lol ok maybe you just didn’t find me attractive interesting or stimulating 🙂
In any case I wish you the best since your still on the dating site.”

WHAT THE HELL! Hey jerkoff, you’re controlling…and possessive…and non-gentleman like…and just plain weird. And just a reminder, YOU’RE still on the dating site too!

Ugh. How could he not remember?!?!?

11 Comments »

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