….you make the very sad realization that you’re practically the only single friend and family member.
It’s sad. It’s depressing. It’s so incredibly frustrating.
level of excitement: through the roof!
My last two posts have been a little bit of a downer, huh? Well, get ready for some good news!!
I’ve been talking to a new guy. Nickname? Umm…how about. Mr. Sociable? We exchanged a few messages first, we’ve been texting for a few days now and we’ve had long/awesome late night conversations. He’s been very consistent (finally!!). He’s so nice. He’s ambitious and hard-working. He’s so sweet and compliments me all the time. He’s called me beautiful more times than Mr. I did in our entire relationship. He’s very good for my ego LOL.
Yesterday, he asked me out for a date. We’re going out this coming Saturday. We’re going out on a real date. I can’t even remember the last time this happened. We’re not just going to “hang out.” I mean, this is big!!
Anyways, this is the first time I’ve legitimately been excited about somebody since Mr. I.
I’m super stoked and I can’t waitttt to meet him!
flirting…or lack there of…
I can’t remember if I have written a post about my lack of flirting skills. I was too lazy to check, so here I am.
I suck at flirting. It’s one of those things I didn’t pick up on. Don’t get me wrong…I’m a very social person, I get along really well with others, and I can carry on a normal conversation with others. So what is it about flirting that makes me act like a socially awkward person?!? I have no idea. For example, this messaged me on OkC just the other day saying I have an adorable smile. My response back to him?? “You have some pretty cute dogs!!” I tried to save it by later saying something about him being good looking. He handled it well and said among the lines of they get it from him.
Is there a way I can learn how to flirt? I’m nearing thirty…does that mean I’m a lost cause?
There’s another funny story: (I’ve told this to a few of my friends, so if y’all are reading this…sorry!)
I go to staples (which is my favorite store…I have a freakish obsession with office supplies) and as I leave the store there’s a cute guy just a few feet in front of me leaving the store as well. Both of our cars are parked on the right side of the lot but in order for it not to be awkward, I move over to the left side so I’m not directly behind him. I soon realized that was a bad idea because I had to get to my car…I slowly moved back over to the right side. Only to my disbelief the cute guy is parked NEXT TO ME! EEEK! So, as I kinda get behind him again…he says in a jokingly/flirty way…”oh are you following me?!” And my response?? First, I make an weirdddd noise…followed by…”uhhhhh…sorrryyyyy….” all while hurrying to get to my car.
I sat in the car for a minute thinking: OUT OF ALL THE THINGS I COULD’VE SAID?! I SAID SORRY!?!??!? Ugh. I really gotta step up my flirting game.
Anyways, that’s that. One day some guy will learn to appreciate my social awkwardness.
there are so many good memes on bad flirting!
Friends
I’m really trying to understand why some people would use a dating site to find friends. A couple of weeks ago I was messaging a guy that kept referring to me as friend. He would say things like “oh hey, friend” or “how’s it going, friend.” This wasn’t the first time it happened….so I asked my BFF is she ever had anybody say the same thing to her. She said no and asked what his looking for section said. I hadn’t even thought about it! When I looked it said looking for new friends.
I know some people aren’t as lucky as I am. I am very lucky to be surrounded with many amazing friends. Both female and male. I’m just really trying to understand why go on a dating website to find friends? Am I the only one that thinks it’s weird?? Let’s go ahead and rule out people who are new to the area. They’re the exception. I understand them trying to meet new people.
I mean my BFF just had some guy text her saying how awesome, beautiful and fun she is but that he can’t date right now and he’d like to be friends. REALLY?!? Just fuck off.
I can’t even begin to wrap my head around it.
Ugh. I’m very frustrated with the online dating scene right now. I have a lot more to say but I’ll save it for another post.
first date jitters and let downs
Well hello everyone! It has been a very long time since I’ve updated my blog. I keep putting it off but here I am finally. So..a few months ago I decided I was ready to try the whole online dating scene again. Apprehensive but willing to give it a shot. In March, I began talking to this one guy. We really hit it off and I really enjoyed talking to him. He was a first timer and I was the first girl to message him. We talked for way too long. We exchanged messages for about 6 weeks. He worked graveyard and I was still at school at the time so our schedules were conflicting. Finally we made the effort to meet each other (by this time…it was already the end of April). About a couple hours before our date, I had a full blown panic attack. I started freaking out and I called my best friend (bless her heart). She asked why I was freaking out and I told her that I really liked him and I was scared that he wasn’t going to like me once he met me. That not only was I not ready for rejection but I wasn’t strong enough for it. Anyways, she talked me down from my lil freak out session. I ended up telling him I wanted to do something more low key instead. He was totally understanding…we went to dessert instead of dinner.
Y’all remember that I’m into tall guys?? Well, I decided to give this guy a shot being that he was 5’9″. At least that’s what he said he was. Anyways, we met up and the dude was MY height! I’m barely 5’5″. PLUS….he was at LEAST 50 lbs heavier than what his pictures portrayed. It’s not even that he was shorter and heavier that was upsetting. It was the fact that he lied. Aside from the physical stuff, he kept talking about how his family went through “the accident” that happened like 10 years ago. The way he talked about it was as if it happened 6 months ago. I’m not an insensitive person…but there comes a time where you just gotta get over things. And being that I’m going into the social work field, it’s really important that I’m with somebody that’s emotionally stable and has their shit together. This guy wasn’t it. And then on top of it…he talked about these cock fights he goes to when he goes to Mexico in gruesome details. I don’t know about y’all but I’m not into that animal cruelty thing. It’s not cool and it’s definitely not something that you should talk about on a first date.
He also didn’t hold the door open for me and didn’t walk me to my car. I guess chivalry is dead folks. I’m waiting for somebody to prove that wrong.
Before going on my date, my bff told me “you need give yourself the chance to turn somebody down.” She was right. I was able to turn him down. I felt bad for the guy because it was his first date in 2 years but…I didn’t feel a connection and he was not upfront and honest.
Anywho, that’s it for now y’all. Let’s hope I can keep up with my blog. I also think I’m gonna bring back the “WTF moment of the week”
Stay tuned. Thanks for reading ❤
challenge: week 3 & 4
I’m finally all caught up with my challenges!
I’m combining two weeks into one because I went to my first real super bowl party. I may or may not have been to a party before but the one that I went to yesterday felt like a real super bowl party. We had trivia and everything! I love going to parties that are well organized, it makes my OCD very happy.
The most important thing that I did that was especially a first…was participating in a super bowl pool! I didn’t win any money but I did it even though I had no idea what I was doing or how it worked or if I was even going to win any money.
I’m really trying to make an effort to not hang out with my same group of friends all the time and broaden my horizons on the friends front. So far I think it’s working for me! My 2014 had a rocky start but things are much better now.
Life is good!
are you single? here are some rules to live by!
One of my friends posted a super cool article on facebook today and I had to repost it. The original article can be found here.
7 Must-Do’s While You’re Single…
1. Live alone. As hard as it is to live alone, you get to know yourself in an extreme, intense, and deeply satisfying way. It teaches us to live happily in solitude. It provides quiet to think. It allows us to become self reliant. I lived alone for 6 years before we got married and I believe, if nothing else, that time provided me a great deal of confidence in my ability to survive.
2. Quit your job. It feels so good to take a job and shove it (and not be affecting anyone else’s livelihood). It doesn’t seem as irresponsible to up and quit when it’s just your mouth you’re feeding. So if the job isn’t right for you, get out of there. Don’t waste another minute – this is your life we’re talking about.
3. Fly to a foreign country by yourself. I was nervous on my first solo trip to Mexico, even though now I almost always have to travel alone. You learn so much about who you are in how you handle foreign currency, foreign accents, and foreign chaos. It’s a cultural adventure and doing it alone, without worrying of checking in, when to call, and when to be back, is quite exhilarating.
4. Spend a weekend with a married couple your age. Listen to how they speak to one another. Notice their non-verbals. Ask about the rhythms of their daily life. Make a mental note: marriage is not perfect, nor is it the solution to what ails you. Be happy for your married friends and satisfied in where you’re at today. Know that many of us stay single forever, and that’s great. Life is about community, food, faith , travel, relationships, and love. Not just marriage.
5. Take a long trip with your best friend. Plan a trip you won’t be able to take once you are married because your spouse will either: a) want to join or b) not be able to survive the time without you. You can backpack through Southeast Asia, staying at random hostels, or couch surf your way through Western Europe. I have a friend Jeddidiah Jenkins who over 18 months (right now) is riding his bike from Oregon to Patagonia with a few of his close friends. Get out there and go.
6. Be completely, utterly, wholly single for at least three months. Stop trying to date someone constantly. Fast from the hunt, from the hope, of another person coming into your life. Sit fully into your singleness and see what you find. Hopping wildly from one relationship to the next can do you a disservice. You’re never more ripe for self-reflection than when you’re on your own — and the more you know yourself, the more likely you are to find someone who’s right for the real you.
7. Be a good wingwoman or wingman (and watch Top Gun).It’s not always about you. Sometimes your best friends need your full-on support in their pursuit of risk and romance. Finding someone to love and putting yourself out there is not easy, but with a good friend at your side who eloquently drops the high points of your resume during a conversation with an exciting suitor, it can become much less complicated.
challenge: week 2
So, this week I decided to meal prep as my something new! I asked my bff what I should do and she gave me the idea. It’s something that we’ve both wanted to do for a while now. Most because we’re trying to be more healthy and make better decisions in regards to our food intake and exercise. I’ve lost about 10 lbs in the last month or so…I’m on the right track y’all! Meal prepping is a step in the right direction.
I wish I had all matching tupperwear to show off my meals for the week but I think some have gone missing.
I will say that meal prepping does require research and patience.
I’m looking forward to my week and my deliciously prepared meals!
Stay tuned for next week.
❤
challenge: week 1
My challenge is already off to a rocky start. Soon after my post on the first, I got the flu. Apparently it’s going around. I can’t even remember the last time I’ve ever been that sick. It started with problems with my asthma, then the flu, then it turned into some respiratory infection. It took me nearly two weeks to become a functioning human being again. Soon after, I started school and my internship again.
With that being said, I’m a little behind and trying to play catch up! I’ll get there eventually. For week 1, I visited a champagne brunch restaurant in downtown LA with my friend to meet some guy she had been talking to. A friend of his was supposed to meet us there, was it a double date? I’m not sure. But it sure made me feel a little uncomfortable going. The friend ended up not showing up which was awesome for me! Meeting a couple random dudes and a new champagne brunch restaurant, does that count as two things??
Anyways, I hope this year started off a bit better for everybody else! I’m looking forward to the new things I’ll be trying out. There’s already one in progress! But it’s a surprise.
thirty-somethings 