thirty-somethings

life in all its glory

What am I doing here? Selling myself??

on December 13, 2012

Writing a profile has been my least favorite part about online dating. A part of me feels like I’m just whoring myself. I mean…how can I accurately describe myself without revealing too much? When is it considered too much? What are my “selling” points? How do I get somebody interested in me? Because let’s face it…I am interesting. 

Being that I have a mild case of OCD, I did some research on writing a successful profile. What did I come up with? 

  • “show, don’t tell” meaning doing just list shit. Show people examples. Wait…What?!? LOL. 
  • “don’t wear provocative clothing in your pictures.” Alright…I’m totally okay with that. Gotta keep the goodies to myself! 
  • “post pictures of yourself smiling and having a great time.” done and done! Have you seen my big ass smile? 

Anyways…there were so many articles I read…I did my best. I think? I tried reading and re-reading my profile a bunch of times before submitting it for approval. 

Do I feel it really shows who I am as a person? No…not really. I have to try and hook somebody into my profile within seconds of reading. Otherwise, it’s onto the next! LOL It’s a brutal life out there, people. How many adjectives do I use to describe myself?? How much do they want to know upfront? 

Do I tell them I love being freakishly organized but my room is often messy? Or about my compulsive need to finish a TV series if I start one on Netflix? Or the fact that I love singing obnoxiously loud with the music turned up really loud in my car? Or maybeeee…that I have a little bit of a compulsive nail polish buying habit? 

All we’re doing on these dating sites is trying to sell ourselves. Figuratively, of course. Not trying to send the wrong message out there. I’m a classy lady. 

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15 responses to “What am I doing here? Selling myself??

  1. I actually enjoyed creating my online dating profile. It can be tough but it’s indicative of how our society functions. It’s a world of snap judgement and selling yourself.

    – K.

    • dsantos85 says:

      you’re very lucky that you enjoyed creating it! haha. after many times of reading and editing, I think my profile is a little bit closer to accurately describing me.

      thanks for the comment! 🙂

  2. I can so relate and you want to know the truth? I don’t think mine reflects me AT ALL either. I finally gave up and wrote….if you wanna know more ask but don’t be sleazy! You are selling yourself and it should be easy because you’re awesome! Oh and singing in the car should definitely go in your profile. 🙂

    • dsantos85 says:

      i will have to put the singing in the car comment into my profile now! heheheh .

      i’ve edited my profile soooo many times, but i think it’s a little closer now than it was when i first started!

      thanks for the comment 🙂

  3. chrisebpage says:

    It’s a tough balance to strike between selling yourself without sounding like an arrogant idiot and not misrepresenting yourself.

  4. Yeah, I was a victim of wasting all that time signing up for eHarmony. That profile was intensive! Yeah, I have written many profiles and “About Me” sections on social networking websites. Do I feel like it’s a waste of time? Yeah, when I have to pay for a subscription! If the website is entirely free to sign up, create a profile and communicate – do it! I have met many amazing people from the Internet since I was chatting in AOL chat rooms in middle school. I love that feeling of finding someone, connecting with them over the phone and then meeting them in person. What if they live a thousand miles away? I have quite a few friends with a range of five to ten years of keeping in touch. Do I regret not seeing them yet? What can you do? Buy a plane ticket? Sure, I suppose.

    However, I completely agree with you. It’s not necessarily whoring yourself, if you go in the right direction with the most effective intentions, but it’s more of a marketable idea. It’s like finding a job. What makes YOU distinct from everyone else I could date? Thanks for sharing!

    • dsantos85 says:

      thank you for your comment!!

      I’ve actually connected with quite a few people across the globe as well. I love getting to know people; i love the connection! It’s a lot of fun.

      I guess the thing I dislike the most is trying to find a balance of sounding confident without sounding like a complete arrogant jackass LOL.

      I’ve edited my profile so many times…and I think I’ve FINALLY been able to get a little closer to accurately describing myself. So I’m pretty happy about that 🙂

  5. leegeary says:

    I’ve updated and edited my profile constantly over the past week. My internal editor is always buzzing in my ear. I think it reflects me more so than when I signed up for the current service.

    For myself, it’s getting the balance right between my sarcastic humour, and my actual honest personality while leaving in just the right amount of crazy. And making sure there’s enough bouncing points in the profile, but not explaining anything in detail so people can ask about them.

    It’s fun.

  6. missaprilshowers says:

    Creating a profile on a dating website can be something like a self improvement exercise, I think. You write about how you WISH you were, rather than how you ACTUALLY are (in general – I definitely do).

    If you look at the gap between a brutally honest personal profile and one which describes how you’d like to be, you can work out how to improve your life!

    It actually works.

    • dsantos85 says:

      hmmm….this is a very interesting point! can you give me an example? Only because I feel that it could potentially be lying lol. i’m very curious!

      • missaprilshowers says:

        Let me elaborate with an example.

        When I was writing my profile on OK Cupid, I made a list of my favourite books. But as I looked at it, I realised that in the last few months, I haven’t read anything that even remotely resembles the literature that I really, really love. Thinking about that forced me to remember what was important to me and to start doing it again.

  7. I feel you. It took me five years and dozens of rewrites to get to a profile that’s finally “me”. And now I’m finally starting to have some success with it… which actually isn’t saying much.

    If you want to hook somebody in within seconds, your pictures are going to do it. Most guys aren’t going to read your profile. However, you are obviously aiming for the type of guys who DO read your profile. But pictures always matter. And what’s going to sell you is personality. Does your profile have any? That’s what I look for. That, and uniqueness. I don’t like reading girls’ profiles that sound like a thousand others. (example: do you have any idea how many times I’ve seen girls write about “singing in the car” on their profiles…?) Check out your competition. See what the others are writing.

    The best overall advice I can give is to picture your ideal mate, and then write your profile like you’re talking to him.

    The other piece of advice is to not commit the same profile sins that so many other girls commit. I detail them in my blog post “Your online dating profile sucks”. Yes, I’m shamelessly plugging myself here, and you should read it if you haven’t already. I know some of it is just my personal preferences, but most of it is stuff that really serves as a hindrance and a turn-off. I think it should be required reading for any girl writing an online dating profile. (Yes, I think very highly of myself 😛 )

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