life in all its glory

new year and new beginnings

by vivaciousdeb

Hello everyone!

It has been a very long time since my last post. So sorry I’ve been lagging. I officially finished my first semester of graduate school. I finished with a 3.66 GPA. It’s not perfect but I’m still so proud of myself for not only getting accepted into one of the top graduate schools in the nation but also SURVIVE! I’ve made great new friends and I’ve learned so much about myself along this journey so far. Being in this program has been so incredibly challenging but I have loved every moment of it. Well maybe not the all nighters I had to pull a couple of times.

One of my new years resolution is to start blogging on a regular basis again. With that being said, I’m going to be taking part of a 52 week challenge. It was my sisters idea last year so I can’t take credit for it. I will be trying something new every week. So by the end of the year…I’ll have tried 52 new things!! Pretty cool, right? I’m excited.

I will attempt to document my journey with pictures and stories. I’m really looking forward to this.

Anyways, I hope everyone’s year is off to a good start. Mine was pretty shitty but I’m not going to let that stop me in keeping my head up. This year will be a great year and I will keep reminding myself of that.

HAPPY NEW YEARS! May this year bring you lots of love, happiness, and success.

life in all its glory

4 Comments »

7 Ways To Make Your Man Feel Appreciated

by vivaciousdeb

girls have to put in work too! it’s not just the man that has to do all the work.

James Michael Sama

Contrary to popular belief, there are still good men out there. You might even be dating one. He might even follow the 10 Ways To Make Your Girl Feel Special.

If he is a true gentleman, he will do all of these things, and more, without expectation of anything in return. Your happiness is his reward. That being said, though – a basic human need for all people is to feel wanted and appreciated, especially in relationships, and especially when they perform selfless acts for others.

If you do have a good man, it’s important to let him know that what he does for you, matters. Even if it’s just in small ways. Here are some suggestions, in no particular order.

1. Pick up the tab.

Anyone who reads my articles knows that I believe a man should always pay for dates. Not just the first date, but all…

View original post 547 more words

life in all its glory

10 Dating Commandments For The Modern Man

by vivaciousdeb

It’s been so long since I’ve written something. I figured I would post something I found interesting!

life in all its glory

heartache

by vivaciousdeb

I looked up the definition of heartache on urban dictionary, and these were my favorite (and most accurate) finds:

Emotional pain; the horrible feeling of a black hole sitting in your chest where your heart should be. Other feelings one may experience include a inability to catch one’s breath and getting all choked up.
That gnawing feeling that tells you that you will never love any other as much as you loved the asswipe responsible for your broken heart.
When there is some kind of giant, spiked ball locked inside your body, stabbing at your insides whenever you move. Sometimes you find yourself crouching over or clutching at your chest because this immense feeling seems to be taking your breath away.
A feeling of helplessness or rejection

All of these are a pretty accurate description to how I’m feeling right about now. I broke things off with Mr. I on Saturday. All week long I kept replaying our last conversation on how he couldn’t even answer whether or not he was happy with me and how he needed a break and basically how I suck as a human being. Okay, maybe not that last one….but that’s how I felt. So I thought, why would I force somebody to be with me if that’s how he felt? I needed to break it off. I cried. I couldn’t concentrate on my work so I left early. I had a friends birthday thing that day that I had decided I wasn’t going to go to but I figured I should go because I’m sure that would be better than me sitting on my ass at home and crying myself to sleep. It was a good feeling to be around friends. I came home a little tipsy and fell asleep relatively quickly.

The next morning I woke up with an empty feeling and a knot in my chest. Mr. I and I talked on the phone soon after that but never in a million years did i think I was going to feel worse than how I did when I woke up. Naive thinking? Probably. I asked him if breaking up is what he really wanted and he responded with “No, I didn’t want it but I need it.” I basically made a fool of myself by begging him to get back with me while I’m bawling my eyes out.

I didn’t work. He said he wasn’t happy and even if we made the promise that we would be better to each other, it still wouldn’t work out in the end. I mean, a part of me agrees. There were many things that I settled on. I turned a blind eye to. I thought it would be okay because we loved each other. Is it probably for the best that this happened? Probably. Does this mean it hurts any less? Absolutely not.

Luckily, I have an incredible support system that has been wonderful and has really helped me with getting through this awful transition.

And this, ladies and gentleman is my first heart break. My first love has come and gone and it’s quite the shitty situation. The man I wanted to marry, the man I wanted to have babies with. He’s gone.

I apologize for such a depressing post, I really needed to get my feelings out in the open.

Yes, I know it will get better. Yes, I know this feeling will go away. But, all I know is that what I’m feeling right now is a feeling I would never wish upon my worst enemy.

life in all its glory

6 Comments »

Hmph.

by vivaciousdeb

This pretty much sums me up right now.

life in all its glory

2 Comments »

break time

by vivaciousdeb

so it seems as though Mr. “Incredible” wants to take a break from our relationship. Why, you ask? Well, because he wants to be able to focus on his work more. Cop-out? Yes, I think so. Only because I asked him if him losing focus on his work was because of me and he said no. So why does he need to take a break from me then? He says it’ll be good for us. I corrected him and said, no…don’t include me in that equation…if you’re the one that wants a break then say it’s good for YOU not US.

I’m so incredibly frustrated and hurt that I can’t even begin to describe all of my thoughts.

I know in my last post I mentioned that my next post was going to be about not being in the honeymoon phase anymore. It’s been some time now that Mr. “Incredible” and I have been having our disagreements. He sees them as arguments, I totally don’t. He’s just unable to have any sort of serious conversation because he feels like we’re fighting. Annoying? Yes.

For quite some time now, I’ve been feeling that maybe my feelings for him were stronger than the feelings he has for me. I totally believe that’s a recipe for disaster. To me that basically means, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. Him? Not so much, obviously…since he’s the one that wants to take a break.

A part of me wants to break it off because why would I want to be with somebody that wants to take a break? He couldn’t even answer the question “Do I make you happy?” Talk about a slap in the face, huh? He said he didn’t know but I told him it’s a simple answer. Apparently, he disagrees.

I tried getting more clarification as to what “taking a break” means, I mean…we’ve all seen that Friends episode where Ross and Rachel take a break and he hooks up with somebody and she gets upset. He just kept saying he didn’t know what he wanted. WHAT THE FUCK! talk about frustrating.

I know not all breaks lead to break ups but, I think it’s heading in that direction.

He said he was going to call me “later.” Whatever the fuck that means.

I’m could be writing this prematurely…as I’m basically writing this out of anger.

life in all its glory relationships

3 Comments »

grad school.

by vivaciousdeb

As I’m writing my first grad school paper, I’m thinking to myself: WHAT THE HELL DID I GET MYSELF INTO?!

found this image somewhere on google.

Along with: Ummmmm….can I really do this? I don’t think I’m smart enough to get through this.

A whole assortment of people totally believe that I can. So I think it’s time I start believing that I can do it too.

I’ve been meaning to post for some time now and this isn’t what I wanted to write about.

I want to write about no longer being in the honeymoon phase. That post will be coming soon. I PROMISE!

Thanks for being patient readers. It’s much appreciated.

life in all its glory

Compromises

by vivaciousdeb

So, I’ve mentioned that I work for my mom and I absolutely hate it. Yeah…it has its perks like I can take time off when necessary and blah blah. But at the end of the day working for my mom makes me want to not wake up in the morning sometimes.

Worst part about this is I also live with my parents. As a 28 year old, this is not the ideal situation.

My mom and I keep fighting more and more. Actually its more her acting crazy or overreacting and being sensitive.

Im at the end of the rope. There are two possible solutions. Either I move out and continue working for her OR get another job and stay living at home. The problem with that second option is that I’m starting grad school and itll be incredibly difficult to find a job thatll accommodate my school schedule (considering I have classes and my internship.) The problem with that first option is that my pay is being cut in half because I’m going to cut my hours to be able to go to school full time. So what im able to pay for rent is actually not much. Finding affordable housing in southern california is practically unheard of.

Theres an option on the table for housing. I know a girl thats willing to charge me super cheap for rent buttttt we’re gonna have to share a room in her one bedroom apartment. It’ll be a little cramped but its doable. I can afford what she’s offering.

I’ve always said I don’t want to share a room with anybody. But is it worth it for me to compromise? I need to get out of my house because the amount of resentment I’m feeling towards my mother is not healthy and I’m totally aware of that.

What to do? What to do?

All I know is that this sucks major monkey balls and I wish I wasnt even in this situation.

Blah.

I apologize for my post not being my regular happy go lucky self.

life in all its glory Real Life

3 Comments »

Breaking Records

by vivaciousdeb

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve never really been in a serious relationship. The longest relationship I’ve ever been in has been about two months. Mr. Incredible and I are approaching our 4 month mark. I’m not gonna lie…it freaks me out. I’m a happy and positive person but for some reason I have this fear that I’m going to mess something up.

I try my best to be the best girlfriend I can be so I know there’s nothing more I could do to try and make him happy but I can’t help to have a lingering thought that I may or may not mess it up. I think that may be my OCD talking. I like to have things planned out but I can’t do that in my relationship (at least not at this point).

I don’t know at what point I’ll stop thinking that way but I hope it’s soon.

I guess that’s it for now.

life in all its glory Real Life relationships

6 Comments »

barking spiders

by vivaciousdeb

wow, it’s been almost a month since I’ve updated my blog. Sorry about that!

Growing up…my neighbors, sister and I used to always play together. One of the brothers was my age so naturally we were together all the time. Every now and again (actually pretty often) he would let out some pretty nasty farts. I’d get irritated with them and he would very innocently say “what? it’s those barking spiders” and we would both crack up and we’d forget the fart even happened.

One of my bff’s texted me the other day about something that happened with the guy she was dating. Apparently he farted on accident while he was laughing. He was super embarrassed and they didn’t even acknowledge it happened. I know for a fact that if it was me, I probably would’ve laughed it off and made fun of myself. I mean, let’s be real…we all fart and if you’re living in some delusional world where you think women don’t fart, we do! Get over yourself.

I have yet to fart in front of Mr. I and he hasn’t in front of me.

My question is…does it ever become appropriate? My mother raised my sister and I to never burp or fart in front of a man. I’ve burped once in front of Mr. I but it was an accident. I swear that thing came outta nowhere!

Anyways, is it ever okay? Curious to hear your thoughts

Let’s hope I don’t go another month before posting again.

Thanks for reading along, y’all!

Oh and…P.S.

Since I’ve been a little MIA….Here’s a quick recap on my life, if you’re interested:

I’m officially registered as a graduate student! EEK! That’s so scary but I’m SO freaking excited! It’s going to be a brand new chapter in my life and I’m looking forward to every moment of it. Classes start next month!
I’m so stupidly in love with Mr. I, I can’t even handle it sometimes. I feel like there should be some sort of party when you fall in love. Like, hey! come celebrate this awesome feeling. His name still holds true….Mr. Incredible. He makes me happy.
I’ve gained 15 lbs since about December. Which sucks cause I lost 40 lbs last year which was incredibly difficult and here I am just eating everything I can. I gotta do something about this. Some have called this happy weight, I call it me being a lazy ass and not being as active as I should be.
My summer has been filled with lots of fun activities! Amusement parks, being a tourist in LA, and mini vacations.

life in all its glory

5 Comments »