thirty-somethings

life in all its glory

the many men in my life

on March 8, 2013

the “many” may be a little bit of an exaggeration…but I said I was going to post an update about what’s going on in my dating life (or lack there of). 

Here they are: 

Mr. Linguist: I have a date with this guy on Monday. Not sure what we’re doing but I know we’re hanging out after class. I was initially into him because his profile listed he speaks 5 languages. I LOVE languages (my goal in life is to learn and master 5, I have 3 so 2 more to go). Anyways, I message him asking him if he really speaks all those languages and he replies with 

“No, I’m Not fluent in all of them. My Spanish is pretty strong. I can speak and write and know some clever terms. Chinese is very elementary. I can read Portuguese and get the overall idea of the conversation , but can’t speak very much. The Italian is poor and only consist of travelers words. Ideally I’d like to be able to converse in Portuguese and Chinese-at least that’s the goal.”

First of all, if you have that much of an explanation for languages you supposedly speak, YOU DO NOT SPEAK THEM. Therefore you should be listing them on your profile. Anyways, aside from that…he’s been a nice guy. Except…he has random bad spelling moments. He’ll use “they’re” correctly but wrote “bot,” yes…bot. Instead of bought. Ugh. He’s into getting to know me which is nice, constantly asking questions and what not. I think he’s cute. But he just disclosed some potential deal breaker information. He’s very religious. It’s usually a deal breaker because I think he may be one of those guys that wants to find somebody to go to church with every Sunday. I asked him if me not being religious is a problem but he hasn’t responded.  We’ll see. I can see our first day going pretty swimmingly. 

Mr. Lazy Ass: I rated him highly on okcupid then he messaged me yesterday saying I was cute. After a couple of messages he said he wanted to chat (outside of okc). So I gave him my number and then he says “text me” and gives me his number. So he wants me to make the initial effort. Fine, whatever. His about me section on his profile has no information about him [all it says is “hello]. I don’t even know why I rated him highly now that I look back at it. It was probably because he had some really cute information about his nieces, I thought it was adorable. Anyways, I’ve noticed he doesn’t like to talk about himself. I get it, somebody don’t talk about themselves. But fucking eh, it’s so frustrating! I asked him to tell me a little bit about himself and he responds with “just ask me whatever you want, i’m an open book!” Uhhh, excuse me sir….I asked you a specific question, how about you answer it?! Also, he called me babe quite a few times. That’s weird. I’m not your babe, my name is Debora. I had to straight up say “don’t you think it’s too soon to be calling me babe?” He said it so many times and it made me feel so freaking uncomfortable each and every time. I had to put an end to it. Today, he asks me for a picture and in return I ask him for his last name because of my mild OCD and every contact in my phone has a first and last name. I’m being serious. Every single person (except my parents and sister) has their first and last name! HE REFUSED! Said it was tmi and that maybe we should get to know each other better first and asked for my picture again. Wtf. After you refuse to give me your last name, you think I’m going to send you a picture? LOL. you’re trippin. I mean, I understand some people are more private than others but this may or may not be a red flag. I don’t know how I feel about it. I’d love to hear what y’all think about this. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for him to tell me about himself. HE STILL HASN’T! He keeps wanting to call me so we can talk but it was late last night and I wanted to go to sleep and now he wants to talk again but I’m at work (obviously working really hard since I’m writing this while at the office). All I know is that he’s some fucking warehouse supervisor that works graveyard. I don’t even know if our schedules are going to be compatible. I work and go to school during the day while he sleeps and while I sleep, he works. So far he’s been more of an annoyance than anything. We’ll see what happens. Maybe he’s just awkward with texting. We’ll see how I feel when I talk to him on the phone. 

And lastly, there’s Mr. Sexual. His first message was “Hey, wanna come over my place?” at nearly 10pm the other night. I didn’t because I’m a classy lady (duh). We’ve been talking ever since. We were asking each other a bunch of questions last night and most of his questions had to do with sexual things. They were mostly harmless though so I didn’t mind playing along. He said he originally joined okcupid because it’s been a while since he’s had sex but that if something else [relationship] happens, he’s okay with that too. I don’t know how much I believe it lol. He’s not into sports which I haven’t decided is a deal breaker for me or not. He said that I’m a “typical so cal person” for being a Lakers fan. I don’t know what he’s basing this off of since he doesn’t follow sports lol and last time I checked there are two teams out here and there are plenty of people who hate the Lakers (clearly this is a touchy subject for me) ANDDDD…if you live in a city where there’s a basketball team in, you’re OBVIOUSLY going to hear a lot of people say they like that team, duh! Another wtf moment. Anyways… aside from him wanting to show me up in a sports conversation which he will not win…he’s nice, funny and smart. He’s nice to talk to. I need somebody to be a distraction. He’ll do. 

And if you didn’t see in one of my previous post, I decided to break it off with Mr. Indifferent. I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to keep stringing him along while I attempted to convince myself to date this guy. 

That’s it for now, folks! 

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11 responses to “the many men in my life

  1. I can’t stand it when people say they speak all those languages and then really only speak 5 words! LOL! I speak Spanish decently but I am not in the “mastered” category so I wouldn’t even dare to say bilingual. hahahah! I like that he’s asking about you though-that’s always a good thing. The second guy..”meh” The third guy..well distractions are good. You Go girl!

    • dsantos85 says:

      I get super defensive about Portuguese…only because I’m Brasilian and speak Portuguese fluently and I’ve noticed that a lot of people who speak Spanish just kinda assume they can speak Portuguese just cause it’s “so similar.” Yeah, they have similarities….but it’s a totally different language! LOL. Ugh.

      I love that the first one is actually interested in me. At least that’s what it seems like! haha. He’s a bit older than guys I’ve recently been taking to.
      Yeah, I’m totally “meh” about this second guy too. I’m not ruling him out just yet though. I’m trying really hard to be more open minded. Same thing with the third guy, we’ll see what happens!! 😀

  2. Ugh – I can’t stand when people say “just ask me whatever you want, i’m an open book!” And what am I supposed to ask you when you have only three sentences on your profile and that’s one of them?? “Um… so, uh, like what music do you listen to?” or “Hey! I see you like ‘having fun’ – me too! What a coincidence! What do you do for fun?”

    Very hard to find people I can actually message. If only they would expend a little more effort on their profiles it would make things a lot easier!

    PS – I actually listed just one language for myself on OkC. I put “English (poorly)”. I wonder if anybody has caught that yet.

    • dsantos85 says:

      Geez, sorry for the delay in response! I couldn’t agree more with you!!

      It’s so difficult having a conversation with somebody that’s like that. The convo becomes so one-sided. I don’t want to be the one constantly asking questions and you giving your answers.

      I would have totally caught the “English (poorly)” section…looking at languages is one of my favorite things to do on somebody’s profile! haha

  3. dirtythirtydatingtips says:

    The lazy guy makes me nervous because I assume every guy is a murderer on the sex offender list until proven otherwise. He may be purely about sex but isn’t as up front about it a the sexual guy.
    Even though the linguist lied (exaggerated?) about his language knowledge, he sounds like your best bet. Can’t wait to hear what happens with all these guys!

    • dsantos85 says:

      I don’t go as intense of assuming every guy is a murderer LOL…my first thought was he’s a cheater or something.

      I would definitely say the linguist exaggerated and he’s most definitely a top contender. 🙂

  4. New Single Guy says:

    I always skip profiles that are minimal and lazy. Mostly the reason is that I have nothing to base a conversation on. If I can’t make some quip or anecdote relating to something personal to them, then I’d rather just move on.

    Also, I don’t root for either the Lakers or Clippers. The only LA team I root for is the Kings. :p

    • dsantos85 says:

      I generally skip profiles that are lazy as well….but other sections of the about me sections were interesting! Looks like I’ll just go back to skipping lazy profiles haha I haven’t spoken to that guy since yesterday morning so I’m assuming I won’t be hearing from him again.

      And…you just proved my point about LA teams. Mr. Sexual doesn’t know what he’s talking about lol.

  5. Summer says:

    Oh dear – they all sound horrible!! The Linguist doesn’t sound so bad, but the religion will probably be a dealbreaker. As an atheist, I have no problem dating someone who believes in God as long as they aren’t fanatical. If he’s “super” religious, that could be problematic. Plus, it will probably get on your nerves after awhile.
    Typical online dating – there’s always something wrong with everyone (except us, of course).

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