life in all its glory

Mr. Calm and Collected

on January 11, 2013

There have been new developments with Mr. Calm and Collected. We still haven’t met. I attempted to bring up us meeting in person and I failed miserably. I’m generally a very open person and very comfortable speaking my mind; however, when it comes to guys (I like)…I get very awkward. I don’t know why that is but it’s been like this for as long as I can remember. Anyways, here’s how our conversation went down: 



I may or may not have handled that the way that I should have. I got awkward, I didn’t know what to say. So I figured I wouldn’t bring it up anymore. Fast forward to a couple days later, this conversation went down: 



We had a wonderful phone conversation later that night but no date was set for us to meet. 

We’ve continued to exchange numerous messages to each other and he just keeps getting better and better. It’s getting out of control. Turns out he played soccer for 15 years (I’m brasilian, this is a major deal for me!), he understands/appreciates my obsession with penguins (my obsession may be a little unhealthy but he gets it), he is a pretty big fan of amusement parks (EVEN DISNEYLAND!!!!), and the fucking icing on the cake: HE HAS A MOTORCYCLE. If it was possible for me to cream myself, I would’ve when I found this out. 

Now, I don’t know if this is necessarily weird or bad or I don’t know…but he hasn’t complimented me. Is that weird? I’m not fishing for compliments or anything but when I tell him how awesome he is or that I think he’s super cute, he doesn’t return the compliment. Like I said, I’m not fishing for compliments but that’s generally how you gauge whether or not somebody is interested in you romantically, right? I could be wrong because he does a considerable amount of time messaging me throughout the day. That means he’s interested, right? Ugh. 

Is there a certain amount of time I should wait until I bring up us meeting? Should I even bring it up? 



15 responses to “Mr. Calm and Collected

  1. You need to bring it up immediately! The whole point is meet in person. Phonestry is one thing. But having actual chemistry is only realized when you meet in person.

  2. Matthew Mcconaughy says:

    Just do it already… See how it goes

  3. Ian says:

    This string of texts is a huge red flag for me. I don’t want to overstate it; but time and time again, whenever someone is iffy about meeting in person, they are either a) not that into me, or b) have something to hide. I’m leaning toward B in this situation. If someone is interested in meeting someone, they’ll do just that. I watched the movie Catfish this weekend….if you haven’t seen it, you have to! Online dating will never be the same for me after that.

    If he’s playing cool, you need to turn to ice. Tread lightly on this sort of guy…and don’t be the one who puts in all the work, it never works.

  4. Be careful. Don’t get too attached until after you meet. I’m not liking this guy so much now. I need to point you to Laurie, the founder, is a friend of mine and she just published a book called Love at First Click. You should only exchange upto 6 messages before meeting in person. Now there’s a lot of pressure for your first meeting and most likely it’s not going to feel natural to either of you. You need to meet ASAP or move on.

  5. I completely agree with not getting too attached before you meet him. Things are very different in person. I no longer communicate back and forth for a long period of time. It should be easy-text/email, set up quick meeting and move the relationship along or end it. I would put it out there directly. Let’s meet for coffee or a quick drink-no pressure. If he says no, I would honestly tell him you are not looking for a textship. Its hard but you’re worth a man that wants to see you! Good luck sweetie!!!!

  6. Debby says:

    looks like you got some good advise already, and I concur: you need to meet him fast. Personally, if I have been texting/mailing with a guy for over a week and he doesn’t make concrete plans that have a date and a timeframe in them, I turn and don’t look back – I never talk to a guy on the phone, unless I know him already. You have to take this out in to the real world and find out if it’s belongs there. Good luck!

  7. Meet him. Bring it up. Let him decide where you meet so you can get an idea about him and Jake him pay! Lol. Compliment should happen on the date. Perhaps he is just nervous but meet him as soon as you can. You don’t want to waste time on someone you may not click with in person. Good luck! 🙂

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    See for more details.

  9. awkwardcharm says:

    Since he brought it up, I think you can set up a face-to-face date. Don’t worry about the lack of compliments… he wouldn’t message you so much if he wasn’t interested.

  10. Atypical Midwestern Librarian says:

    I like to meet people early on or I get a picture of them in my head and I’m disappointed when I meet them and they’re actually human. Lol. I never talk to someone more than a week if they don’t mention meeting.

  11. Carolina says:

    De, I had that experience. He wasn’t asking me to go out for a coffee, for a month.. everyday texting. I was pressing. He was like … the right day, it happens! So, one day, I said, today! And we met. And, the point was… He cant deal with the fact of me having a kid and the father of this kid, because he had had terrible experience with his ex-wife and he just can’t handle it. So, we started dating anyway and 3 weeks later… he said: its no go for me, as i said the first date! … I didnt get the clue! … I dont know what is your friends point but there is something for u to pay attention… keep your eyes open even if your heart is melting! bjs flore

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